A woman suffered quite a shock when she saw what her fiance had been searching for on his phone. Now, she’s seeking counsel from veteran advice columnist Abigail Van Buren.
“Dear Abby,” her letter begins, “I’ve been with my fiance for three years and I’m very much in love. A few months ago I asked to use his phone to look up something on the Internet because my battery had died.”
Then the unthinkable happened.
“It opened up to a gay porn site!” the woman exclaims. “I was shocked and asked him if it was something he was looking at. He admitted that it was.”
Now the woman can’t stop thinking about it.
“Nothing like this has happened to me before,” she panics. “I began asking if that’s what he likes and is into. He assured me the answer was no. He said he looked because he was simply curious about it. He told me he loves women and doesn’t want to be with men. He said he was just looking.”
“I believe him,” the letter concludes, unconvincingly, “but is this normal behavior?”
It is signed “Weirded out in the West.”
In crafting her response, Abby consulted a few of her celebrity friends.
“I took your question to an expert on the subject of adult entertainment viewing,” Abby begins, “Larry Flynt.”
According to Mr. Flynt, Abby says, curiosity is perfectly normal, though, the porn magnate added, “not many heterosexual men make a habit of viewing gay male porn sites.”
(OK, not to dispute the expert, but we have data that suggests quite a few straight men frequent gay porn sites. But we digress.)
“If your fiancee is a regular consumer of this kind of entertainment,” Abby’s response continues, “he may have latent homosexual tendencies.”
Abby goes on to say that she also spoke to Jack Drescher, M.D., a psychoanalyst and expert on gender and sexuality, who told her “some people fantasize about people of the same sex, but never act on it.”
“According to Dr. Drescher, what is important is that you and your fiancee are able to talk about sex honestly and openly,” Abby writes. “If you need more assurances, continue this discussion so that you both will know what you’re getting if your betrothal leads to marriage.”
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