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“One Million Moms” Are Obsessed with Dan Savage’s Series The Real O’Neals

by matt baume March 11, 2016

real o nealsOne Million Moms, which is really just a couple thousand moms at most, is not at all pleased about this new show, The Real O’Neals. In fact, they hate the series, based on an idea from activist Dan Savage, so much, they watched it with rapt attention and took meticulous notes, and now they can’t stop talking about it.

“It is almost impossible to describe the depth of depravity found in the sitcom “The Real O’Neals,” writes an anonymous blogger on their site, but by God they’ll certainly try. The organization has compiled a list of the ten scenes that captured their attention most. Here it is:

  • Jesus appears where only the gay son can see and talk to Him, and He is annoyed by the mom’s strict guidelines for her family
  • The daughter steals money she is supposedly raising for charity.
  • The daughter “attempts to prove” that there is no God in a science fair project.
  • ABC network refers to this highly dysfunctional family as “the perfect Irish-Catholic family.”
  • A statue of Mary is kept above the O’Neal’s toilet to remind the boys to put the seat down.
  • The first jab at Jesus comes only 52 seconds into the first episode.
  • The mother encourages her 16-year-old gay son to “try s-x” with a girl. (A dash ‘-‘ is used to bypass internet filters.)
  • Vulgar language (ex. V-gina).
  • The mom makes pancakes shaped like the face of Jesus to guilt trip her anorexic son into eating.
  • One of the show’s producers is anti-Christian bigot Dan Savage, and the show is said to be loosely based on his life.

OK, a couple things. First of all, someone just saying “vagina” really does not constitute a “scene.” Second, good grief, these scenes are what constitutes depravity these days? They’re all so mild! We remember when depravity really used to mean something, back in the days when we used rosary beds as Ben Wa balls.

Another of the Moms’ current campaigns is to pressure advertisers on the show Lucifer, which is about the devil fighting crime. Their complaint? The show is “meant to make people rethink assumptions about good and evil.” Oh right God forbid people do anything thinking!

Anyway, the Million Moms want everyone to write to Simply Orange (a juice company owned by Coke) to tell them to stop advertising on the show. And yes, Coca-Cola would probably indeed be shocked to know what’s going on — not that they’re advertising on a show that mentions religion, but that One Million Moms still exists.

By the way, speaking of organizations that incredibly still exist, did you know the National Organization for Marriage is still a thing? These days they’ve pivoted away from trying to ban marriage — because that’s not just a losing battle, but a battle they’ve permanently lost — and now they’re trying to pass antigay discrimination bills. They’re also circulating petitions to block trans people from being able to use bathrooms, because that apparently has something to do with marriage.

matt baume
matt baume


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