Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Marco Rubio Will Have Plenty Of Time For Foam Parties Now

by John Gallagher March 16, 2016

marco rubioSay farewell to Little Marco. The man who was going to save the Republican party from itself (and from Donald Trump) made a pitiful showing in the primary in his home state of Florida, coming in more than 400,000 votes behind Trump. Faced with the inevitable, Rubio suspended his campaign and with it, quite possibly, his political future.

Much has been made of Rubio’s willingness to stoop to Trump’s level in the days lead up to last week’s primaries by suggesting that his rival’s mind wasn’t the only thing that was small. 

But the fact of the matter is, Rubio was a lousy candidate for the Republican primaries and ran a poor campaign. He had pinned his hopes on the establishment crowning him the fresh face of the future in a year when love from the party elite was the kiss of death. His campaign made a series of stupid mistakes, focusing on ads instead of retail politics. And his reputation as a brilliant debater took a hit when he revealed himself to be a robot.

Democrats were rightly afraid of Rubio as the strongest candidate they could face in November. He was the pretty face of the far-right craziness that plagues the GOP. Rubio’s proposals were as bad as Trump’s and often even worse. 

But Rubio had the potential to appeal to Latino voters (or at least a small portion not offended by his immigration flip-flop) and to the general voting public as a sunny, articulate, moderate-sounding and presumably sane candidate. Those qualities are in short supply among Republicans these days, even if its debatable Rubio ever possessed them.

Instead, Rubio is joining the ash heap of failed 2016 candidates. Moreover, convinced of his ability to win the nomination, he started burning his bridges while he was still standing on them. He had pledged not to run for re-election in the Senate, although tonight’s results showed that voters may not have nominated him again in any case. He had the worst attendance record of any Senator, so it’s hard to know if anyone will miss him when he leaves.

Where will Marco go next? Assuming the foam party is out of the question, probably not politics, at least for a while and possibly forever. The Florida governorship will be up for grabs in two years, but it’s hard to see how Rubio could recover by then.

One of the problems Rubio would have faced if he was the primary is his questionable financial history. He apparently wishes he could pull down the big bucks that his pals in the private sector do. which would solve his ongoing money woes. While the Republican elite may not control the party base, they do control a lucrative conservative apparatus, and Rubio will likely find a lucrative sinecure where he can lick his wounds.

As for the Democrats, they dodged a bullet. Whether it’s Trump, Cruz or a brokered convention, the odds against a Republican presidential victory look a lot slimmer now than they did when Rubio was still in the race.




John Gallagher
John Gallagher


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Think

Secrets Of Online Relationships Revealed

by Dan Tracer September 25, 2016

You may have thought online relationships were the exclusive territory of lustful teenagers clawing at adulthood, but plenty of folks get swept away by a virtual Romeo and find themselves in a precarious situation. Is it best to keep the fling relegated to the interwebs and live out the romance novel in your head, or [...]

Continue Reading →

PHOTOS: Gentlemen Of A Certain Age Captured Beautifully In These Erotic Nudes

by Graham Gremore September 25, 2016

“I believe that every age and body type deserves to be photographed,” Olivier Autissier tells Queerty. “I do not just want to photograph ‘beautiful’ people. I want to photograph all types of men. Because aren’t all men beautiful?” Related: Sexy Body-Positive Photo Series Challenges Perceptions Of Male Beauty Autissier lives and works in Paris. He’s been photographing male nudes [...]

Continue Reading →

Road Trip With A Hustler, Gay Acrobats In Love, The Moment You Become A Real B*tch

by Derek de Koff September 25, 2016

Gay acrobat lovers create a truly mesmerizing performance art piece — quite unlike anything we’ve ever seen before: Ever wonder what it’s like to be an Orthodox Jewish gay man? A new documentary called “Who’s Gonna Love Me Now?” will school you right quick: A gay road trip with a lonely middle-aged man and a [...]

Continue Reading →