What do you do when you discover old homemade masturbation videos of your boyfriend on XTube? That’s what one young man wants to know, so he’s written to advice columnist Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, for help.
“I have been dating a terrific guy, ‘Jason,’ for about five months now,” the letter begins. “He’s everything I’ve been looking for but there’s a problem: He has an Xtube page up.”
Oh, but it gets worse.
“I introduced him to my friend ‘Bob,’ who is an avid watcher of online porn,” the letter continues. “Bob later told me about the page and sent me the link to it.”
“Basically it’s nine videos of Jason masturbating with his face showing in a few of them,” the man explains. “I was mortified seeing the videos and cried privately. I don’t know what to do.”
The videos were posted over a year ago, the man explains, but he’s still at a complete loss for what to do next because, he says, “this is the best relationship I’ve been in in years.”
“Jason is attentive and caring and is interested in taking our union further,” he says, “but I don’t know if I can ever trust him. I’m not interested in having a boyfriend whose naughty bits are on display for the whole world to see!”
In her response, Prudence writes: “I’m not sure why you feel like you can’t trust him. What about his having masturbated in front of a camera a few years ago has rendered him untrustworthy?”
“I can understand feeling uncomfortable, certainly, and wondering whether you two are compatible in terms of how you view privacy, but trustworthiness doesn’t seem to be an issue here,” she continues. “There’s nothing untrustworthy about jerking off for an audience.”
Prudence’s advice: Talk to the guy.
“Tell him what you found, ask him if he’d be comfortable removing the videos, and have a serious conversation about what you both think about privacy,” she says.
“On the other hand,” she continues, “if you honestly don’t believe you can date someone who has ever had an Xtube page, no matter what the circumstances, then do Jason a favor and end your relationship before it gets serious.”
How would you respond if you found naughty videos of your significant other online? Sound off in the comments section below.
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