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From Ted Cruz To Pat McCrory, Republicans Cannot Stop Talking About Going Potty

by Graham Gremore April 29, 2016

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It’s been a banner week for discussion about bathroom regulation by Republicans. From high profile presidential campaigns to talk radio shows to small town city council meetings, it seems conservatives just can’t get their minds out of the toilet. Literally.

Scroll down for the latest in conservative bathroom propaganda, er, news

Ted Cruz officially makes pooping and peeing part of his presidential campaign platform

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In a series of campaign speeches across Indiana this week, the most hated man in the GOP suggested he will take the fight over public restrooms all the way to the White House, should he be elected.

“It doesn’t make any sense at all to let grown adult men–strangers–to be alone in bathrooms with little girls,” Cruz said at a campaign stop Monday. “And anyone saying differently is political correctness on steroids.”

He followed that up Tuesday by claiming, “If the law says that any man, if he chooses, can enter a women’s restroom, a little girls’ restroom, and stay there, and he cannot be removed because he simply says at that moment he feels like a woman, you’re opening the door for predators.”

He kicked his assholery up another notch later in the week with a transphobic and misogynistic joke with pedophilic implications:

“Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton both agree that grown men should be allowed to use the little girls’ restroom,” he remarked. “If Donald Trump dresses as Hillary Clinton, he still can’t use the little girls’ restroom. And I apologize for putting that image in your mind.”

Pastor Rick Wiles threatens to pee all over the floor at Target

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Pastor Rick Wiles, host of the rightwing radio show TruNews, went on a rant this week about Target’s new bathroom policy, which allows people to use the restroom of their preferred gender, by accusing the bargain department store of “defecating” all over the United States of America and then threatening to pee all over the floor in an act of protest.

“How about I just urinate on your floor?!” Wiles cried. “How about that, Molly?! Because you’re defecating on this nation! It’s either shut down Target or their type is going to shut down this nation!”

Riiiiight. Because whipping out one’s penis and pissing in front of innocent shoppers in the home goods aisle is so much less creepy and offensive than a person doing their business in the privacy of a closed stall.

Alabama town passes law charging trans people $500 for answering nature’s call in public

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In the ongoing contest to be as cruel as possible to trans people, one Alabama town passed a law this week imposing a six-month jail sentence and/or a $500 fine for anyone caught peeing in a bathroom that town officials don’t approve of.

City council members in the town of Oxford, AL (pop. 21,232) crafted (we use that word loosely given the number of spelling and grammar errors) a new ordinance the reads:

Citizens have a right to quite [sic] solicitude [sic] and to be secure from embarrassment and unwanted intrusion into their privacy… single sex public facilities are places of increased venerability [sic] and present the potential for crimes against individuals utilizing those facilities which may include, but [are] not limited to, voyeurism, exhibitionism, molestation, and assault and battery.

The bill passed unanimously.

Gov. Pat McCrory tells Megyn Kelly he doesn’t want to be seen as the “bathroom police”

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In an interview with FOX News, Gov. Pat McCrory told Megyn Kelly on Thursday that he has “no desire” to be thought of as the bathroom police… then proceeded to talk about policing bathrooms for five straight minutes.

“I do not want government to be able to tell private businesses what their bathroom policies should be,” McCrory claimed, before adding in the same breath that there is “an expectation of privacy that individuals have” in regards to going to the bathroom. Therefore, the government should pass laws regulating public restrooms.

Confused? So was Kelly. She replied by explaining that, unlike men’s restrooms that are equipped with urinals, women’s restrooms only have stalls. “We don’t see each other,” she said. “So why are you concerned about young girls exposing themselves or seeing somebody else exposed in a woman’s bathroom?”

To which McCrory awkwardly responded, “I can’t believe we’re even talking about this.”

We can’t either.

 




Graham Gremore
Graham Gremore

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