Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Yo–According To Reports, Colton Haynes Bared His Plump Assets On Instagram

by Derek de Koff May 31, 2016


As we groggily–perhaps even resentfully–settle back into the daily drudgery of our lives following Memorial Day, new mysteries abound, teasing and tantalize us.

Some of those mysteries: Why has the newly out Colton Haynes shared a boldly bare-assed Instagram photo complete with a platinum blonde ‘do, a moody mannequin who stole that blonde ‘do, and Tom Ford, dressed as a certified sniper and applying some sort of motorized buff puff to that bright bare ass?

Related: Colton Haynes Opens Up Honestly About His Sexuality And His Health

The news of all this platinum blonde hair and bare ass business has sent shockwaves through the blogosphere, Hollywood Life feverishly reported:

It’s not clear why the photo was taken, but we thoroughly enjoyed discovering it on our Instagram feed. It’s such a perfect butt, don’t you think? Round, firm and the actor has an amazing tan. What more could you want?!

Ace Showbiz was equally frantic about all this unbridled butt-bearing:

The “Arrow” actor took to the photo-sharing app on Friday, May 27 to post the racy image of him showing off his bare butt.

Rocking his newly dyed hair, he’s seen lying on his stomach while a man with the same hair color held his hands. His boxer briefs were pulled down to reveal his butt cheeks. “By @stevenkleinstudio &@tomford . #ValleyOfTheDolls,” he wrote in the caption.

Here’s the photograph Colton Haynes posted:

? by @stevenkleinstudio & @tomford . ??? #ValleyOfTheDolls

A photo posted by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on

But all is not what it seems.

Being far more than mere news aggregators, we put our investigative reporting chops to the test, and immediately put our two biggest clues–“Tom Ford” and “Valley of the Dolls”–through our state-of-the-art Google machine.

What we found may shock you.

As this spread by Flashback Editorial reveals, Colton Haynes merely posted a photograph taken from a 2005 fashion series shot by Steven Klein and starring Tom Ford called–yes–Valley of the Dolls, a nod to the Jacqueline Susann groaner.

Here are more shots from that series:

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 10.54.56 AM

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 10.57.16 AM

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 10.58.15 AM

So the butt-bearing photo isn’t Colton Haynes, but he did bleach his hair in an apparent nod to the stylings of 1995:


A video posted by Colton Haynes (@coltonlhaynes) on

So, yeah. There’s that.


Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Think

LA Times Is Not About Michael Weinsten’s California Condom Measure

by matt baume September 29, 2016

At first it might seem like a good idea, right? Provide porn workers with workplace protections that would prevent them from getting sick, like how food workers have to wear gloves. But the more you hear about California’s Proposition 60, the fishier it smells. Yuck. Now the LA Times has come out against the measure, which would require all adult [...]

Continue Reading →

More And More Guys Are Into Gay Chat Roulette

by Graham Gremore September 29, 2016

This just in: Online gay chat roulette is making a comeback. More and more guys have been logging off Grindr and switching on their webcams instead, including Mike Miksche, a writer at Daily XTra. “A chat roulette is a one-on-one webcam chat where you’re randomly matched with a partner from around the world,” Miksche writes. “If [...]

Continue Reading →

“Game Of Thrones” Star Gethin Anthony On The Hottest Gay Fling In Westeros

by Dan Tracer September 29, 2016

  Westeros is a very scary world, with all the politics and violence going on, so it was nice to play an affectionate gay couple within that world. We were very passionate about it being a positive thing. I still hold on to that and I’m still very proud of it. I got some lovely [...]

Continue Reading →