Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Queerty’s Weekly Roundup Of Bizarro Gay News

by Graham Gremore January 30, 2016

A married man discovered his stolen x-rated selfies circulating on Grindr. Ted Cruz talked about his butt sweat. And a college dude hit a ping pong ball with his penis. These are just a few of the things that happened this fourth full week of January in the year 2016.

Here are some of the most bizarro gayish new stories of the week…

Mouthy masseur gets his day in court

maletherapist

A masseur was slapped with three years of probation after getting a little too fresh with a heterosexual client at the Kneading Hands day spa in Bethlehem, PA. 39-year-old Christopher Atanazy admitted this week to performing unwanted fellatio on the man last September. In addition to probation, a judge ordered him to pay a $500 fine and barred him for ever working in a massage parlor again.

Married man discovers stolen x-rated selfies on Grindr

Screen-Shot-2016-01-26-at-12.09.37-PM

This genius took a naked picture of himself while his wife was out of town then accidentally uploaded it to a public photo album on Google Drive. A week later, he got a message on Facebook saying someone was posing as him on Grindr. Moral of the story: Always set your photo albums to private.

Video surfaces of teenaged Ted Cruz discussing his butt sweat

Ancient video of the antigay GOP contender for president surfaced this week in which he incites two horrifying visuals: 1. the sweat trickling down his butt crack, and 2. his plans for world domination.

Lifeguard reprimanded for his “visible anatomy”

1200

An embarrassed lifeguard shared an email he received from his boss complaining about his large member and requesting he wear board shorts instead of a speedo at work. Seriously, we wish we had this guy’s problems.

College kid uses penis as a ping pong racket

Man-returns-ping-pong-serve-with-penis-490736

Basically, this dude’s buddies filmed him in using his peter as a ping pong racket in a college rec room because, hey, that kind of precision ought to be documented for the world to see. See the NSFW video here.

Closeted GOP lawmaker caught seeking winter cuddle buddy on hookup app

Stocksy_txp8cbaa1cf5Sd000_Small_750489-670x335

As winter storm Jonas swept across the East Coast, at least one brilliant Republican lawmaker in Virginia took to Grindr in hopes of finding someone to keep him warm. A tidbit of advice for all you closeted right-wingers out there: When cruising the grids of Grindr for some steamy side action, you should probably be mindful of who you’re sending face pics to.




Graham Gremore
Graham Gremore

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Think

Newt Gingrich And Crowd Of Conservative Gays Have A Good Laugh About Woman’s Weight

by Jeff Taylor September 30, 2016

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich was the keynote speaker on Wednesday at the annual conference of the Log Cabin Republicans, where he joined his fellow overweight conservative Donald Trump in throwing stones from a glass house concerning former Miss Universe Alicia Machado. Trump has a long history of denigrating women, which Hillary Clinton brought up [...]

Continue Reading →

RuPaul And Dolly Parton Go Head To Head In Highly Entertaining Interview

by Derek de Koff September 30, 2016

As part of their 25th Anniversary issue, Dazed paired up RuPaul and Dolly Parton to see what would happen when their oversized personalities and hairstyles collided. As you might expect, it went quite well. Here are a few highlights. Dolly on meeting RuPaul for the first time:  “I thought he was big and beautiful. We’re just like twins, [...]

Continue Reading →

State Senate Candidate Calls Gay Teen Who Committed Suicide A Murderer, Internet Comes For Him

by Derek de Koff September 29, 2016

The below comment was written by Jason Christensen, a man currently running for Utah State Senate, in regards to a teenager who committed suicide last week over his sexuality: Since being posted on Reddit earlier today, it’s drummed up considerable outrage, with hundreds of people demanding that Christensen’s political career come to an abrupt and inauspicious end. Related: Andrew Christian Model [...]

Continue Reading →