A woman in West Virginia has found herself thrust into the center of a rather precarious situation and she’s seeking the advice of none other than Abigail Van Buren to help figure things out.
“Dear Abby,” the letter begins, “My friend ‘Steve’ is in his mid-20s and became a father a few months ago. He’s happy and excited about it, and he’s good with the baby. He has been living with the mother, ‘Nina,’ who is a few years older, for a while now. Nina is also a friend of mine, and this is her second child.”
But it seems there’s trouble brewing in paradise.
The friend continues: “My problem is that Steve told me some time before his son was born that he thinks he is gay. He wants to wait until Nina recovers from the pregnancy and finds a job before he tells her. I know he intends on being as big a part of the child’s life as possible.”
“As much as I don’t want Nina to be a single mother twice over, it doesn’t seem good for her, Steve or the children to stay in a sham relationship,” the friend writers. “How can he break the news to her in a way that won’t jeopardize his chance to be a father to his son?”
The letter is signed: “Concerned in West Virginia.”
Abby responds: “This will have to be handled delicately because Nina may be clueless about Steve’s sexual orientation. Expect her to be hurt and furious when she gets the news.”
“It was reckless of Steve to have had unprotected sex with Nina under these circumstances,” Abby continues. “That said, gay men can be great parents, and the focus should be on successful co-parenting of the child.”
Ultimately, she says, Steve has a moral responsibility to his son, and he and Nina will have to find some sort of resolution.
“Gay or straight, Steve will always be that child’s father,” she writes.
OK, Abby, but that doesn’t really answer the women’s question. How exactly should Steve breaks the news to Nina that he prefers the D?
What advice would you give the young dad? Sound off in the comments section below.
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