Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Marco Rubio Loves Gay Music But Not Gay People

by matt baume February 18, 2016

rubio

This is why the moderated CNN town halls are so much better than the messy debates: during last night’s, Anderson Cooper asked some of the candidates about what music they like, and both Rubio and Cruz got really weird with their responses.

First up: Marco Rubio, who told the audience that it’s OK for him to like electronic dance music because “The words are clean. Sometimes they have no words at all. It’s electronic dance music. I don’t have to worry about the lyrics.”

Yup, this is a grown ass man, afraid that he might hear a dirty word in his music. Music that, we might add, was pioneered by the homosexuals that Rubio wants to take rights away from.

“Ever been to a rave?” asked Anderson. Rubio looked a little uncomfortable about that and said no. And you know what it means when a conservative denies doing something even a little bit fun: they are DEFINITELY telling the truth.

Anyway, now that the subject came up during a Republican town hall, you can expect parents everywhere to start talking about EDM. Those should be some fun conversations.

And then it gets worse: Ted Cruz started talking about how he likes musicals, and then sang some Stevie Wonder. At least, we’re pretty sure that’s what happened. There’s a video clip of it but we can’t bring ourselves to watch because Ted’s face is nauseating.

Ted has also said that he started listening to country music on 9/11, possibly the weirdest variation on the “the whole world changed that day” statement ever made.




matt baume
matt baume

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Think

State Senate Candidate Calls Gay Teen Who Committed Suicide A Murderer, Internet Comes For Him

by Derek de Koff September 29, 2016

The below comment was written by Jason Christensen, a man currently running for Utah State Senate, in regards to a teenager who committed suicide last week over his sexuality: Since being posted on Reddit earlier today, it’s drummed up considerable outrage, with hundreds of people demanding that Christensen’s political career come to an abrupt and inauspicious end. Related: Andrew Christian Model [...]

Continue Reading →

You Can’t Unsee The Hillary “Shimmy Song”

by Jeff Taylor September 29, 2016

Earworm warning: this one will burrow its way into your brain. You’ve seen the shimmy GIFs and memes, now this growing phenomenon has its own song, and it’s…well, kind of annoying actually, but still somewhat amusing. Related: Randy Rainbow Moderates The First Debate; It’s Super The lyrics center around how Hillary Clinton won the first debate [...]

Continue Reading →

Justin Theroux Reflects On Those Infamous ‘Leftovers’ Sweatpants Photos

by Graham Gremore September 29, 2016

It was August 2014. The Leftovers was wrapping up its first season on HBO and the entire Internet was in a tizzy over Justin Theroux’s sweatpants. More specifically, what was flopping around underneath the sweatpants he was wearing in the opening scene of an episode. In case you need a refresher, here you go: After making national headlines, [...]

Continue Reading →