Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Are We Being Teased Or Trolled By The Latest ‘American Horror Story’ Promos?

by Derek de Koff August 15, 2016

Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 1.02.14 PM

What do you get when you cross Children of the Corn with Rosemary’s Baby?

At worst, an unwieldy assemblage of malignant child actors. At best? One of the brand new trailers hyping the upcoming season of American Horror Story.

Related: Based On New Teasers, What Will The New “American Horror Story” Be About?

First up: Over a soundtrack of plaintive humming as unsettling as those Sarah McLachlan animal rights commercials, a graduate from the Ratched College of Nursing takes her finest pair of Mommie Dearest shears and cuts down the mobile hanging above a nefarious baby carriage. A drizzle of rotting teeth follows.


Related: This “American Horror Story: Grindr” Parody Is Both Horrifying And Hilarious

Second up: Are a cadre of aliens being trained in advanced human abduction? Because one student apparently failed to crack the textbook, but succeeds in cracking his subject’s spine on her way up to the spacecraft. We hope she’s feeling better.

Right now, it’s impossible to say whether these trailers provide any hints to next season’s theme, or whether they’re just a bit of fun to throw us off the scent.

Find out when season six premieres September 14th. Scream.

Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Think

Too Many White Guys On Grindr & Too Many Are Racist, Blogger Laments

by Graham Gremore October 01, 2016

“This morning I deleted a marketing email from Hinge, a high-end, Tinder-esque social dating app that only shows you hot guys if you have friends in common,” blogger Madison Moore in a new op-ed called How To Spot Sexual Racism. “Cool concept. But Hinge was the worst kind of dating app for me because I never matched [...]

Continue Reading →

Grease ‘Sandy Is Dead Theory’ Blew Our Minds, Man! Creator Blames Acid

by Jeff Taylor October 01, 2016

Have you heard the fan theory suggesting Grease tells the coma dream of Sandy, who dies at the end of the movie in the strange scene at the end where the car levitates and rises toward the heavens? It seems to have first taken root on Reddit before getting a major social media boost when actress [...]

Continue Reading →

Cristiano Ronaldo Throws Legs In The Air, David McIntosh Sheds Pants, Warwick Rowers Pop Squats

by matthew tharrett October 01, 2016

This week, Hillary Clinton dom topped Donald Trump at the first presidential debate, RuPaul interviewed Dolly Parton, Justin Theroux said he’s actually “mortified” by people discussing his package, and a conservative politician was — surprise! — caught kissing a 17-year-old boy. Here’s what went down on Instagram: Danell Leyva and Donnell Whittenburg modeled matching undies. [...]

Continue Reading →