Happy new year! Free Shipping over $99

Colton Haynes Will Join John Stamos And Taylor Lautner In ‘Scream Queens’ Season 2

by Derek de Koff July 22, 2016

Colton Haynes. John Stamos. Taylor Lautner. Buckets of thick arterial blood spurting against the windows, trickling down the stairs, and dripping all over mom’s beautiful new carpet.

Some stories have all the elements.

Related: Colton Haynes Opens Up Honestly About His Sexuality And His Health

Yes, the new season of Scream Queens continues to teeter towards honorary softcore porn with its endless proliferation of handsome additions to the cast, most of whom will wind up disemboweled or otherwise eviscerated during the course of the story.

According to Entertainment WeeklyHaynes will be playing a “mysterious role” in the series, which moves the action from college to a hospital of abject terror owned by the superiorly-named Cathy Munsch (played by Jamie Lee Curtis.)

Related: ‘Real O’Neals’ Star Noah Galvin: Colton Haynes’ Coming Out Was “P*ssy Bullsh*t”

While there’s no saying how Haynes will fit into the show, Stamos and Lautner are confirmed to be playing extremely sexy doctors, both of whom will remain nominally attractive even after they’ve been decapitated and their white lab coats are flecked with viscera and strands of ganglia.

The new season premieres September 20th on Fox. Set those DVRs, fellas.

Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Think

WATCH: New ad shows MMA fighter Conor McGregor in all his glory

by Derek de Koff January 18, 2017

The advertising world continues embracing the male form -- and we're totally behind it.

Continue Reading →

Gay republicans are ‘appalled’ by Chelsea Manning’s newfound freedom

by Ben Dougas January 18, 2017

Whether she's a hero or a villain is a complicated question, but what's not complicated is queer Republicans' absurd claim to moral high ground.

Continue Reading →

Masseur arrested in strangling death of gay NYC club owner

by Derek de Koff January 18, 2017

The death is said to have been caused by a sex act gone too far.

Continue Reading →