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Donald Trump Thinks Anderson Cooper Is Temperamentally Unfit To Moderate Debate

by matt baume September 16, 2016


Great news for anyone who was running out of things to be outraged about: foaming sea slug Donald Trump has done a new thing!

This time, he’s saying that Anderson Cooper shouldn’t moderate the second presidential debate, coming up on October 9.

“He’ll be very biased, very biased,” Trump said, like a kid who knows he sucks at baseball complaining about the mean referees before the game. Trump added a bunch of blah-blah-blah about how he’ll be there but he won’t like it. “CNN is the Clinton News Network and Anderson Cooper, I don’t think he can be fair.”

Trump is probably referring to … oh God, who knows, Trump has never referred to anything specific in his life. Maybe he’s referring to how CNN is reporting facts, and Trump doesn’t like facts. Maybe he’s referring to Wolf Blitzer’s sexy daddy beard. Maybe he’s misses those old James Earl Jones station ID spots. Your guess is as good as anyone else’s.

The Cooper debate will also feature Martha Raddatz from ABC News, and Lester Holtz from NBC will moderate the first one on September 26. The third is October 19 with Chris Wallace, Mike Wallace’s kid. Now if you want to talk about being unfit to moderate a debate, take a look at Chris Wallace: he publicly said that he wouldn’t fact check anyone during the debate, since it’s not his role. What? Whose role is it if not the moderator to ask the participants to please, if they wouldn’t mind, tell the truth? Wallace has also publicly praised Trump puppeteer Roger Ailes.

In other news, the government is scheduled to shut down in two weeks, but nobody’s talking about that.

matt baume
matt baume


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