Cyber Monday 50% OFF SITE WIDE! Check it out now | Free Shipping + Financing Available!

Five Finger Shuffle: Why New York City Can’t Have Nice Things

by Derek de Koff September 16, 2016


It was good while it lasted, but it didn’t last long. Due to an overwhelming number of reports regarding New Yorkers roosting on LinkNYC kiosks to watching porn in public and vigorously sad’sturbate, the company has decided to no longer provide web browsing.

Related: Want To Cut Your Risk Of Prostate Cancer? Masturbate Five Times A Week

According to Gothamista statement from the company reads:

Starting today, we are removing web browsing on all Link tablets while we work with the City and community to explore potential solutions, like time limits.”

The company promises that the 400 kiosks will continue to provide “other tablet features—free phone calls, maps, device charging, and access to 311 and 911.”

Related: WATCH: How Do Conjoined Twins Handle Masturbation?

But if you’re looking to see the latest flip-flop scene between Bruce Beckham and Matthew Bosch, you’re unfortunately not going to be able to do it standing on Eighth Avenue between 17th and 18th with your pants around your ankles.

Too bad. We were hoping the kiosks might usher in the era of re-sleazification that NYC desperately needs right now.

Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Think

Oh Look, Another Antigay Skeleton In Trump AG Pick Jeff Sessions’ Closet

by matt baume December 02, 2016

Here's the latest atrocity from our potential new Attorney General.

Continue Reading →

Learn To Make A “Shade Cake” With BenDeLaCreme & Win A Trip To DragCon 2017

by Tim Winfred December 02, 2016

Summer’s over sweetheart, and class is in session. BenDeLaCreme and This Free Life have teamed up to create a fierce (and free!) new online course entitled “Home Ec: The Art of Domestic Realness.” Enroll today in DeLa’s four-part course to learn how to make a flawless shade cake… and so much more! Plus, once you complete [...]

Continue Reading →

ICYMI: Leaked Videos Surface Of Brazilian Gymnasts Arthur Zanetti And Sergio Sasaki

by Dan Tracer December 02, 2016

If seeing is believing, they’ve got one serious training regimen.

Continue Reading →