Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Hey, These Pants Let You Play The Drums With Your Crotch. And The Beat Goes On.

by Derek de Koff August 29, 2016

drumcrotchpants_465_297_int

Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

They’re a thing. A real thing. They’re… Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

Related: Six Inventions That Changed The Way You Have Sex

As Dangerous Minds reports, the Kaoring Machine (aka Electric Sexy Drum Pants) was developed by a Japanese experimental artist and pop music composer who felt the world needed a pair of pants featuring a synth drum trigger as the crotch. Call it Cock Rock 2016.

Related: Five Sex Toys You Don’t Need…

This handy demonstration video will answer all your questions, however personal.

Hit it: 

Still waiting for the invention of pan-flute penny loafers and dulcimer dungarees?

No go. In the meantime, why not slide into this jockstrap planter for men (sorry, ladies!), which retails at only $100? (Cactus not included, and why is this guy just holding the jockstrap planter for men and not wearing the jockstrap planter for men?)

IMG_5381_465_465_int

Important: However strong the urge, under no circumstances should you attempt wearing thr planter jockstrap for men beneath the Electric Sexy Drum Pants.

The technology’s not quite there yet.




Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Think

State Senate Candidate Calls Gay Teen Who Committed Suicide A Murderer, Internet Comes For Him

by Derek de Koff September 29, 2016

The below comment was written by Jason Christensen, a man currently running for Utah State Senate, in regards to a teenager who committed suicide last week over his sexuality: Since being posted on Reddit earlier today, it’s drummed up considerable outrage, with hundreds of people demanding that Christensen’s political career come to an abrupt and inauspicious end. Related: Andrew Christian Model [...]

Continue Reading →

You Can’t Unsee The Hillary “Shimmy Song”

by Jeff Taylor September 29, 2016

Earworm warning: this one will burrow its way into your brain. You’ve seen the shimmy GIFs and memes, now this growing phenomenon has its own song, and it’s…well, kind of annoying actually, but still somewhat amusing. Related: Randy Rainbow Moderates The First Debate; It’s Super The lyrics center around how Hillary Clinton won the first debate [...]

Continue Reading →

Justin Theroux Reflects On Those Infamous ‘Leftovers’ Sweatpants Photos

by Graham Gremore September 29, 2016

It was August 2014. The Leftovers was wrapping up its first season on HBO and the entire Internet was in a tizzy over Justin Theroux’s sweatpants. More specifically, what was flopping around underneath the sweatpants he was wearing in the opening scene of an episode. In case you need a refresher, here you go: After making national headlines, [...]

Continue Reading →