Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Hillary’s Honorary Gay Nephew On Why She’s The Right Woman For The Job

by Dan Tracer October 13, 2016


I’ve known Hillary Clinton since my early childhood. She and my mother have been best friends since they were little girls growing up in Park Ridge, IL. As a child, I knew Hillary not as a powerful attorney, child advocate or the First Lady of Arkansas, but rather as Chelsea’s mom — a warm, funny lady who taught me how copious amounts of hot sauce on your scrambled eggs will keep you healthy.

To see Hillary portrayed as an evil, conniving criminal is baffling to me. Throughout my life, I have only known her as my mom’s most supportive and loving friend. Hillary took me on my first roller coaster ride when I was 12 years old. She spoke at my high school commencement ceremony and took photos with every single one of my classmates. The woman who signs her letters as “Aunt Hillary” congratulated me when I came out of the closet, when I got my pilot’s license, when I married my husband and when we adopted our baby girl. She checked in with my family regularly while my mom underwent surgery and treatment for breast cancer.

I often send Hillary photos of my daughter and she always writes me back immediately, telling me which photo is her favorite and how she can’t wait to give the little one a squeeze.

Hillary has included me and my husband in countless events over the years and always greets us with warmth and sincere affection. Several times, we’ve had the privilege to sit down with her and swap stories and, let me tell you, this woman can tell one hell of a story. Her dry wit rivals some of the best sit-com writers I’ve had the pleasure to work with. I’ve even witnessed her make her husband Bill laugh until he has tears streaming out of his eyes.

So it truly pains me to see this smart, caring woman made out to be some sort of monster. I don’t know if I should blame the scandal hungry media, a right wing conspiracy or her current political opponent, but whatever the case, I can promise you that Hillary Clinton is, as my mom puts it, a good girl. I am truly blessed to know her and to have been raised with her as a role model of how one can be driven and accomplished while remaining humble, personable and kind.

When you cast your vote for Hillary, I just want you to know you’re backing not only the most qualified presidential candidate in history, but a real person, a woman who values family, friendship and service to her fellow Americans above all else. You’ll be sending a message to my daughter that she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to. You’ll be electing a good girl. So for the next few weeks, put a few extra drops of Tabasco on your omelette — the American people need you to be healthy on November 8!

Below, find a video from Hillary’s campaign featuring Colin’s mother, Betsy:

Dan Tracer
Dan Tracer


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Think

The Gay-Themed, Fan-Made Vid Of Britney Spears’ “Change My Mind” Is Here

by Derek de Koff October 20, 2016

Two gay men, one gay anthem: See them prancing and dancing and romancing to the perky pulse of Britney Spears’ “Change My Mind” single. God, this is real. Related: Acquaint Yourself With Britney Spears’ Harem Of Male Backup Dancers It’s the inevitable gay-themed video that none of us asked for, but all of us deserve: A hodgepodge [...]

Continue Reading →

Joe Wasn’t Allowed To Talk About Sexy Stuff In The Jonas Brothers, So He’s Making Up For Lost Time

by Derek de Koff October 20, 2016

In his younger days as one-third of The Jonas Brothers, the DNCE frontman was barred from talking about sex and romance, for obvious reasons. “Hollywood Records were under Disney,” he tells NOTION, “and obviously just the age we were, we had to be careful with the certain things we wrote and said.” We couldn’t be [...]

Continue Reading →

Man Kicked Out Of Megachurch For Abandoning Ex-Gay Therapy

by matt baume October 20, 2016

We’d like to issue a belated “welcome out” to Jason Thomas, and a congratulations on having the courage to tell his story. Jason recently posted on Facebook about an experience he had a year ago that must have been very difficult, but has ultimately left him a better, stronger person. He was previously a member of the [...]

Continue Reading →