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How Do You Feel About Beard Jewelry? We Feel Totally Not Great About It.

by Derek de Koff October 02, 2016


For whatever reason, beard jewelry is trying very hard to become a thing right now. But should we let it become a thing? It probably shouldn’t get to be a thing, we don’t think.

Related: Man Buns, Bro Jobs, And Rainbow Doritos: The Best And Worst Trends Of The Year

Milan-based company KRATO just released a promo vid featuring baleful, Walt Whitmanesque models traipsing through the city streets with something sticking out of their facial hair that, from afar, might as well be stray pieces of El Pollo Loco chicken.


According to the “About” page, the collection is “dedicated to beardsmen” — beardsmen? — “who express their individuality in eccentric, yet sophisticated ways. Beard [sic] is a visual display of dignity, style, and uniqueness which makes for a perfect canvas of self-expression.”

Does it though?


Related: Beard Implants Are A Thing

The page also states in no uncertain terms that by supporting Krato’s beard jewelry Kickstarter campaign, you are effectively “helping beard community grow.”

Take a look at the ad below, and ask yourself whether you’re really willing to let life go this way: 

Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff


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