Happy new year! Free Shipping over $99

In Leaked Video, Top Mormon Apostles Reveal Suspicions Of Gay Conspiracy

by matt baume October 03, 2016


Looks like the Mormon Church has a spy amongst their ranks. Some anonymous source has leaked a whole bunch of footage of internal meetings of top officials from between 2007 and 2012, and as it turns out church leaders are exactly as nuts as you thought: they’re convinced that there’s a gay conspiracy in the media, because of course they are.

As with most leaks, some of the material is pretty dull. But then there are the juicier bits: conversations about marijuana, the age at which to marry, the movie Pirates of the Caribbean, and how the religious officials plan to influence politics. There’s also lots of conversation about homosexuality, a topic of some obsession for many Mormon leaders.

For example, they were particularly fascinated by Chelsea Manning. And at least one official, Dallin Oaks, said that he’s convinced the news media conspires to cover up negative information about gays. Officials also expressed suspicion that Manning and Julian Assange are gay.

Speaker: There was, Elder Oaks, initially a concern of the possibility that he had been reprimanded for homosexual issues. But that was not in the news afterwards. He is, I think, openly homosexual. And the reports were, as Elder Cook was mentioning, that his companion left him and he became depressed, and that seems, based on his Facebook writings, one of the features that caused him to do what he did.

Dallin H. Oaks: The reason I ask the question is not related to this presentation, but I’m suspicious that the news media cover up homosexuals when it would work to the disadvantage of the homosexual agenda and so on. I just wondered if there was some of that in this.


Speaker: My own sense is that when you listen to this particular man, Julian Assange, the rhetoric is surely a nice idea that there should be freedom of information. But when you listen to him and you get a feel from him you get much more of the anarchist than the freedom fighter.

M. Russell Ballard: Is he gay?

Speaker: I don’t know. He was under indictment as you’re alluding to for sexual assault but it seemed to be rape charges that he was coming under, not, not for being gay.

Boyd K. Packer: Well, thank you I think! chuckles

Yup, here are your leaders, Mormons: a bunch of old out-of-touch weirdos who still use the term “gay agenda.” They sure seem trustworthy.


matt baume
matt baume


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Think

The Obamas will be chillaxing at their gay friend’s Palm Springs manse this weekend

by Derek de Koff January 19, 2017

So many people are fleeing DC this weekend. The Obamas are among them.

Continue Reading →

Taylor Bennett, hip-hop artist and Chance the Rapper’s brother, comes out as bi

by Dan Tracer January 19, 2017

We can’t think of a better way to celebrate a 21st birthday than by unburdening all the baggage that comes with being in the closet, and Taylor Bennett clearly agrees. The hip-hop artist, who is also Chance the Rapper’s younger brother, came out as bi in a series of Tweets on Wednesday, letting his fans [...]

Continue Reading →

Tom Daley, age 22, says he hasn’t had plastic surgery yet, “but ask me in ten years and it might be different”

by Graham Gremore January 19, 2017

That means he plans to start Botox treatments at 32.

Continue Reading →