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Man Comes Out As Gay And Athiest To Wife And Evangelical Family, Seeks Advice

by Rob Smith July 13, 2016


If your biggest problem this summer is wondering if following up tequila with vodka is going to give you a killer hangover, at least one Reddit user wishes he were in your shoes.

Reddit user Club411 came out to his wife 8 months after marrying her, and she then forced him to come out to the rest of his family.

Even though he did it via this heartbreakingly vulnerable coming out letter, it wasn’t exactly an Afterschool Special.

I came out of the closet May 16th to my wife after being married for 8 months. Then shortly after she forced me to come out to my family. She put me in a situation where I had to choose between her telling them or me telling them, and she gave me a deadline. So I sent them all a letter (I can post it later if people are interested), because I wanted to be the one who broke the news to them so I could at least get my views across to them as they found out.

Shit has hit the fan. My family went crazy. I grew up very religious, and my family and ex are still very religious. I grew up in the evangelical Christian environment, with parents who were so religious they didn’t believe in birth control. I got grounded once for my Bible getting dusty. My father made jokes about killing gay people. Lots of bad stuff.

His friends have been great, but his family…not so much:

My sister told me that she hopes I hit rock bottom so I have no where to turn but Jesus. And I still constantly hear shit like this from my family.I’m getting divorced and I’m moving on. I got married due to religious and family pressures. My wife and I are separated at the moment. I’ve had sex with a few guys and it’s amazing! I also never did anything with anyone till after my wife and I separated. I’m also happier than I’ve ever been, but I’m also processing a lot of shit at once. So I would love to talk about it and hear advice from anyone.

The heretofore anonymous Club411 is blogging about his experiences in his new gay world at, and is answering more questions on reddit.

What advice would you give him, Queerty readers?


Rob Smith
Rob Smith


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