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Rick Perry Danced His Heart Out In Full Bullfighting Garb; This Is The State Of The World.

by matt baume September 28, 2016


While some people were wasting their time with a presidential debate, the rest of the country was watching a far more important reality show: former politician Rick Perry doing a bullfight dance on Dancing with the Stars. The star in this case is Perry’s dance rival, Vanilla Ice, which technically, sure, he’s a star of a sort.

At one point during rehearsal, Perry rolled his ankle pretty badly. Considering that his evil anti-gay rhetoric  has for years contributed to an epidemic of youth suicides, it’s a pleasure to see him endure at least some small amount of physical anguish. Remember when he said that being gay was like being an alcoholic? What a sweetheart.

At any rate, when it was time for the dance, Rick Perry emerged in a full bullfighting ensemble — fun! Almost makes you forget that he fought for a bill that would have forced women to get medical devices forced into their vaginas, whether they wanted it or not.

At another point, Vanilla Ice called the paso doble a “paso boble,” which is super cute. Please think about that, and not about Rick Perry’s racist voter ID laws, or how he cut $10 billion in educational funding.

All in all, it was a fun evening of merriment and panache, featuring a man who loves to use the death penalty to kill people. Everything is great in America!

matt baume
matt baume


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