Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Searching For Intimacy In A Sea Of Hookups

by Graham Gremore September 15, 2016

Man laying on bed, wide awake, re story

In a new op-ed titled I’m done with flings, sex is off the agenda if it doesn’t come with romance, blogger Topher Green says he’s done with having casual hookups. He’s done bottoming for strangers. He’s done wondering “Is it okay if I put my hand there?” He wants real intimacy. He wants romance. He wants love.

Related: These Guys’ Sex Lives May Leave You Puzzled. Are They On To Something?

“I’ve always had a dour approach to sex,” Topher writes. “I find it is better in my head (during masturbation) than it ever is in real life. When it is just me, I don’t have to endure the anxiety that comes before, during and–sometimes–after the act itself.”

Hmmm. It sounds like he might be doing sex wrong. But we digress.

“There was a period of my life where I hated my body,” Topher continues. “I would keep as many items of clothing on during sex as possible.”

“I once had sex wearing a hoody and denim jacket,” he overshares. “Yes, it was very uncomfortable. My keys and phone kept falling out the pockets.”

Topher says that he was ultimately able to overcome his body image issues by getting naked with as many people as possible.

“The more I hooked up with different guys, the more I realized guys do find me attractive,” he says.

But his problems were far from over.

Related: Self-Described ‘Black Queer Man’ Says Being Celibate Improved His Sex Life

He soon realized that, while his body image issues may have been cured, the sex left him feeling hollow and unfulfilled. Often he wanted to carry on romantic relationships with his lovers, but they were only ever interested in having a one-time thing, which left him with “the worst feeling ever.”

“You’re paranoid, you feel used, you feel ugly,” he says.

Not to mention, it wasn’t any fun.

He continues: “I want more, I want intimacy. I want to wake up the next day and spend the day together, making stupid jokes. I want to cuddle and dish out affection. I want to be able to look disgusting when I wake up without fear of judgement, rather than having to sneak off, shower, brush my teeth and fix my hair before they wake up.”

So, he says, he’s swearing off hookups.

“I’m past having to suffer the awkwardness before casual sex,” he proclaims. “I’ve had my fun, but I’ve had my fair share of hurt and disappointed [sic] too. I no longer want to fool around, not unless it’s heading in a serious direction.”

Quick! Someone get this man a chastity belt!

Related: Male Chastity Devices Now Available In Three Great Finishes




Graham Gremore
Graham Gremore

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Think

Newt Gingrich And Crowd Of Conservative Gays Have A Good Laugh About Woman’s Weight

by Jeff Taylor September 30, 2016

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich was the keynote speaker on Wednesday at the annual conference of the Log Cabin Republicans, where he joined his fellow overweight conservative Donald Trump in throwing stones from a glass house concerning former Miss Universe Alicia Machado. Trump has a long history of denigrating women, which Hillary Clinton brought up [...]

Continue Reading →

RuPaul And Dolly Parton Go Head To Head In Highly Entertaining Interview

by Derek de Koff September 30, 2016

As part of their 25th Anniversary issue, Dazed paired up RuPaul and Dolly Parton to see what would happen when their oversized personalities and hairstyles collided. As you might expect, it went quite well. Here are a few highlights. Dolly on meeting RuPaul for the first time:  “I thought he was big and beautiful. We’re just like twins, [...]

Continue Reading →

State Senate Candidate Calls Gay Teen Who Committed Suicide A Murderer, Internet Comes For Him

by Derek de Koff September 29, 2016

The below comment was written by Jason Christensen, a man currently running for Utah State Senate, in regards to a teenager who committed suicide last week over his sexuality: Since being posted on Reddit earlier today, it’s drummed up considerable outrage, with hundreds of people demanding that Christensen’s political career come to an abrupt and inauspicious end. Related: Andrew Christian Model [...]

Continue Reading →