Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

She Thinks Her 12-Year-Old Son Is Gay. So What Can She Do To Help Him?

by Derek de Koff September 11, 2016


An anonymous woman using the handle jane_trousers has taken to Reddit to post a rather touching request for advice, all because she suspects her 12-year-old son is gay and wants to do everything she can to help him adjust.

“He’s flamboyant and somewhat effeminate,” she writes. “He likes dancing, musicals, My Little Pony, and other things that check the boxes. All good.”

But she’s not sure he knows he’s gay yet (or if he really is gay).

Related: Little Boy Owns Runway, Melts All The Hearts

Nevertheless, something he said this week broke her heart:

This week he became upset because a friend saw his My Little Pony drawings. One of the things he said to me that broke my heart was “I hate who I am.” He feels the need to hide parts of his personality to his friends. Maybe he’s right.

So her question to other Redditors is this:

“What help or advice did you receive when you were younger that helped you come to terms with who you are?”

Responses poured in at once.

“Just give him love and support,” says dsiman. “He will come out if/when he is ready.”

Don’t pressure him. One thing in particular, do not ask him if he is gay. He might not be ready to come out and asking him that makes him feel pressured. Just keep doing what you do and love him and give him loads of support. Just be a great parent and encourage him to be himself no matter who is watching.

Majeric thinks it’s important for parents to be proactive. “Part of the birds and the bees talk should include LGBT-affirming language.”

“In addition to loving him the best you can, you should talk to him about why he feels that way,” says YourFairyGodmother. “No need to even bring up the gay angle. He feels the need to hide parts of his personality not because he’s gay but because he’s not like the others and kids especially are hard on others.”

Related: Dad’s Journey From Contemplating Suicide Over Gay Son To Learning Proper Use Of ‘Shade’

“I think that you should do as much as you can to normalize it in your household,” Georgeishungry offers. “Talk about it openly, perhaps tell stories of your gay friends (without just doing so because “hey want to hear about my gay friend from college?”).”

“Be subtle but make it clear that you’re providing a loving and caring home for him, which is wonderful.”

So, any advice you’d like to offer? What do you wish your parents told you while you were growing up? Weigh in in the comments below. 

Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Think

State Senate Candidate Calls Gay Teen Who Committed Suicide A Murderer, Internet Comes For Him

by Derek de Koff September 29, 2016

The below comment was written by Jason Christensen, a man currently running for Utah State Senate, in regards to a teenager who committed suicide last week over his sexuality: Since being posted on Reddit earlier today, it’s drummed up considerable outrage, with hundreds of people demanding that Christensen’s political career come to an abrupt and inauspicious end. Related: Andrew Christian Model [...]

Continue Reading →

You Can’t Unsee The Hillary “Shimmy Song”

by Jeff Taylor September 29, 2016

Earworm warning: this one will burrow its way into your brain. You’ve seen the shimmy GIFs and memes, now this growing phenomenon has its own song, and it’s…well, kind of annoying actually, but still somewhat amusing. Related: Randy Rainbow Moderates The First Debate; It’s Super The lyrics center around how Hillary Clinton won the first debate [...]

Continue Reading →

Justin Theroux Reflects On Those Infamous ‘Leftovers’ Sweatpants Photos

by Graham Gremore September 29, 2016

It was August 2014. The Leftovers was wrapping up its first season on HBO and the entire Internet was in a tizzy over Justin Theroux’s sweatpants. More specifically, what was flopping around underneath the sweatpants he was wearing in the opening scene of an episode. In case you need a refresher, here you go: After making national headlines, [...]

Continue Reading →