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The Myriad Joys Of Being A Slut: One Man’s Story

by Derek de Koff July 30, 2016

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How slutty is too slutty, or is there any such thing? That’s the question journalist Jeff Leavell grappled with after reading an op-ed by British writer Dylan Jones, where he learned, in no uncertain terms,  that he was a “world-class slut.

In the piece, Jones reckons he’s slept with at least 400 men; a number Leavell finds to be surprisingly low. As the Vice writer notes, Jones’ piece was widely aggregated and inspired a deluge of negative comments, largely accusations of low self-esteem and even mental problems.

Related: Are You a Sex Addict or a Garden Variety Tramp?

“As if one’s worth lowers with each dick or ass you take,” Leavell writes, before revealing that he feels lucky for having had lots of sex:

Sleeping with 400 men means sleeping with 40 each year for ten years. My husband Alex and I probably fucked 40 guys over the course of our five week honeymoon in Europe.

I had my first three-way when I was 14, with two neighborhood boys. I’ve been having sex regularly since I was 16. I have been having sex for 32 years—32 times 40 makes 1,280. And that’s a low estimate. The real number of men I’ve slept with, as far as I can figure, is somewhere between that and 3,500.

From the “Stories That Check Out” Department: Leavell believes blowing a stranger in a toilet can be as “mind-blowing” as any other sexual romp:

Sex is transcendental and beautiful, even if that stranger pushes you away, zips up, and leaves. Even if you never see your partner again. Sometimes, especially if you never see them again.

He spent his young adulthood cruising Central Park and later Griffin Park for sex, inspired by John Rechy’s classic gay novel Numbers, which he calls “a veritable cruising bible.”

Related: Five Ways To Reclaim Your Sex Life After Booze, Meth And Other Substances

He writes: “I know that what I searched for, beyond sex, was friendship, and a way to be intimate with another, even if just a precious few seconds.”

Like many men with a similarly open attitude about sex, he admits he’s been called a “sex addict,” but feels no shame for his actions.

“Sex has retained meaning to me,” he says. “With some guys, it still feels magical, like something truly important is happening.”

When you break it down, his logic is tough to argue with. At the end of the day, he wants to share that feeling with as many people as he can — while he still can:

Related: Study Finds That When It Comes To Sex, Your Best Days Are Still Ahead Of You

We are broken beings living in a harsh world. Why shouldn’t we be good to one another? Why shouldn’t we fuck, support, cherish, and love one another? I want as many people to love and be loved in turn as possible in this world. I sincerely want my husband to fall in love and fuck as much as he can in this lifetime, and I want the same for our boyfriend, too. I want it for every guy I make love to, now and in the future…

You can read the piece in its entirety here.




Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff

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