Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

The Sex Dried Up After Just Eight Months. And He’s So, So Unhappy About It.

by Derek de Koff September 06, 2016

A homosexual couple having difficulties in relationship

A cry for help can take many forms. In the case of one extraordinarily distraught young man, it’s manifested as a desperate letter to The Gay UK.

The problem? After dating for just eight months, the sex between he and his partner has almost completely dried up. As in: “It’s not you, it’s zzzz…”

Related: Gay Guys Are Having More Open Relationships Than Ever

“At first the sex was phenomenal,” he writes, “and on a regular basis nearly every time we were together even 2 to 3 times a night. However, over the last 3/4 months it has rapidly decreased to nearly nothing.”

Apparently, the unlovebirds have only had sex “like maybe 4-6 times” since May, which “has been rubbish.”

An emergency weekend getaway just led to suspect excuses like “I’m too tired” and “I’m bloated,” which is apparently an excuse.

He’s upset. He likes having sex, but his partner is the withholding sort, at least with him. So what’s a desperate young man to do?

Related: These Guys All Caught Their Boyfriends Cheating. Now What?

A crack team of three different advice columnists tackles the problem head on.

The first one — a certain Jordan Lohan — empathizes because he’s “personally experienced this situation”:

He’s sending out mixed messages and being incredibly controlling by being the one that decides what kind of intimacy you receive and when. Ask him, what does he want from you? Because right now he’s not offering enough to make you happy, feel good about yourself, and feel secure in your relationship, and you should make sure that he knows that in black and white.

Which is not the same as saying, “Break up with him.”

Then someone named Daniel Browne gets involved and offers up his two shiny cents.

“Over time that honeymoon period fizzles out a bit,” he writes to the man who has no sex life after eight months in a relationship.

Whatever the reasons are for your partner’s reduced interest in having sex, it is important to raise the issue and try to discuss it with him. By keeping it bottled up and not having an open conversation about your current situation, you risk becoming resentful and that may turn the issue into something bigger. It’s not often an easy subject to talk to your partner about, but communication is key to resolving things.

Which is not the same as saying,”Break up with him.”

“Whilst sex is an important part of any relationship,” says Paul Szabo, “it is not the most important thing.

Try asking him about what he would like to do in the bedroom – he may be gagging to roll around smothered in peanut butter, but is too embarrassed to ask / talk to you about. Have a chat about your fantasies and start to introduce them….

If all else fails, you need to have a frank chat with him and say that whilst you appreciate it is not everything, sex is important to you and you would like to share such an intimate and personal thing with him. If you don’t want to blurt it out randomly in the advert break of Coronation Street, then agree on a time with him to have a discussion. Don’t frame it as ‘this is your problem and your fault’ – more as ‘you are really important to me and we need to be honest with each other, because I want this relationship to work.'”

Which is not the same thing as saying, “Break up with him and hopefully remain friends while seeking out all the people who actually want to have sex with you.”




Derek de Koff
Derek de Koff

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Think

Only One Candidate Looked Presidential At The Debate. It Wasn’t The Orange One.

by JohnGallagher September 26, 2016

For most Americans, tonight’s debate was the most time they’ve ever spent with Donald Trump. With any luck, it filled them with horror. For sheer unhinged lunacy, Trump was hard to beat. He can’t ever admit that he makes a mistake, so he doubled down on his birtherism lies.  He denied saying things he was proven to [...]

Continue Reading →

It Only Took Twenty Minutes For Trump To Unleash His Dom Side

by JohnGallagher September 26, 2016

Well, that didn’t take long. Donald Trump decided that the way he proves he looks presidential is to start shouting over the woman in the room (and the African-American moderator). Unfortunately for him, Hillary isn’t a sub. If anything, she’s showing that she’s the dom here by goading Trump. Her line that he’s not paying any taxes [...]

Continue Reading →

Donald Trump Kicks Off The Debate By Thanking His Dad and The Housing Crisis

by JohnGallagher September 26, 2016

Donald Trump is off to a great start: he acknowledged that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and that he hoped to profit off the housing crisis.  And God bless Clinton for saying that Trump lives in his own reality. If by reality, you mean make-believe universe, that’s totally accurate.  

Continue Reading →