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This Piece Of Work Is Suing Kim Davis For Not Letting Him Marry His Laptop

by matt baume July 07, 2016


Isn’t it nice when two crazy people are able to find each other? That seems to be the case now that Kim Davis and Chris Sevier have found themselves entwined.

Kim Davis, you’ll recall, is the unpleasant lady who refused to give marriage licenses to gay couples. Kentucky marriage licenses no longer bear the clerk’s name, and so her time in the spotlight is looooong over.

But that hasn’t stopped our friend Chris, who’s now suing Davis (as well as Governor Matt Bevin) for the right to marry his laptop. It’s a clever protest, you see, oh it’s so very terrible clever. The point he’s making is that if men can marry men, than how is marrying an inanimate object any different?

This is not the first time Chris has taken an unusual interest in his computer: he filed a lawsuit to marry it a few months ago; and also a few years ago. Each time he’s been laughed out of court, though with less laughter and more annoyance each time. He also sued Apple for allowing him to buy the computer in the first place, without warning him that it could be used to access pornography. And he sued Obama for firing one of the Duck Dynasty guys — good luck figuring that one out. He was discussed (and then dismissed) on this week’s Defining Marriage podcast, and hopefully we’ll never need to acknowledge him again.

So in case you were worried about Kim Davis’ lingering cultural impact, here it is: she’s identified herself as the kind of person who associates with lunatics. And now the lunatics are flocking to her. Enjoy the bed you’ve made, Kim.

matt baume
matt baume


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