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Totally Normal Human Mariah Carey Will Throw Your Laptop Out The Window For Playing Beyoncé

by john russell August 24, 2016


File this one under “Mariah Carey! She’s Just Like Us!” The notorious diva apparently has some opinions about what constitutes appropriate music for sexy time, and that absolutely does not include songs that are not by Mariah Carey.

This dubious bit of gossip comes courtesy of an anonymous source who tells Australian entertainment site The Fix about the time Mimi literally pitched fiancé James Packer’s laptop out the damn window for trying to romance her by playing Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love.”

Related: Leave Madonna Alone! Five Other Times Well-Intentioned Gay “Divas” Have Butchered Live Performances

Girl, we can relate. This one time, a guy was like, “Here, why don’t I put on 45 minutes of Britney Spears making noises like a toddler climaxing,” and we were like “MY SAFE WORD IS BRITNEY SPEARS!

But it seems like Packer should have known better, though. This is apparently not the first time he’s caused a Cali-level drought in Mariah’s drawers for playing another female artist. The anonymous source says the 46-year-old adult star of Glitter literally coughed up a courgette when Packer accidentally allowed her to hear five bars of JLo’s “Waiting for Tonight.” A friggin’ courgette, y’all!

Related: Watch These Oxford Lads Unleash Their Inner Divas

“He has learned never, ever to play another female artist in the house,” the tipster claims. “It’s either Mariah, jazz or classical!”

john russell
john russell


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