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What Exactly Is The Protocol After Hooking Up With A Straight Guy?

by Graham Gremore June 27, 2016


A gay man who claims to have hooked up with a straight guy on his birthday wonders what he should do now that the candles have been blown out and the cake has been eaten. So, naturally, he’s turning to the Reddit community for guidance.

“I went out with some friends to a straight dive bar,” the birthday boy explains. “This guy approached me to wish me a happy birthday … and I decided to be flirty even though I was out of my element.”

Wait a minute. A gay man going to a straight dive bar for to celebrate his birthday? Is anyone else’s suspicions raised by this?

Related: “Straight” Guys Are Having More Bisexual Sex Than Ever Before, Study Finds

The birthday boy continues: “We were chit chatty throughout the night as he was flirting with a couple girls in the bar. At one point I decided to be competitive with this girl who was kinda throwing herself at him … and suddenly his attention started shifting to me.”

After some witty banter and suggestive body language, the alleged straight dude looked deep into the birthday boy’s eyes and said: “You’re with me tonight,” then suggested he join him back at his place, which was conveniently located within walking distance of the bar.

The birthday boy, who insists he’s never been “the type that’s obsessed with straight guys,” agreed.

“On the way up the stairs he tells me ‘I’m not really used to this,’ which kinda caught me off guard,” the birthday boy says. “As soon as the door closes to his apartment, he starts kissing me. We head back to his bed and things escalate from there. The whole time he was the pursuer. He always decided what we did and what positions.”

The shenanigans lasted until 5 o’clock in the morning.

Related: Has Gay Men’s Obsession With ‘Straight’ Guys Gone Too Far?

Now, the man isn’t sure what to do.

“Would it be weird to reach out to this guy?” he asks. “He gave me his number before we hooked up. On one hand I don’t want to bug him, but on the other I just want to check in and make sure he’s cool and not having some kind of crisis over his sexuality or anything like that.”

The birthday boy wonders: “I know my first experience with a guy was kinda bittersweet because I hadn’t really come to terms with that beforehand. Hoping he’s not in the same boat. Any thoughts?”

Naturally, his fellow Redditers had lots of thoughts, which they waste no time sharing.

“Why on earth are you calling this guy ‘straight’?” someone asks. “How is he straight?”

“Straight guys don’t do this shit,” another person writes. “Sorry to disrupt your fetish.”

“I hate this ‘I f-cked a straight guy’ shit,” someone else adds. “Like, that is an oxymoron, an impossibility. No, boo, you f-cked a dude who doesn’t call himself gay. There’s a diff.”

To which someone else responds: “I mean, it’s not totally impossible. A straight guy can experiment and then realize that he’s not gay afterwards. Plus rape is a thing.”

To which someone else clarifies: “Rape is not sex.”

Related: The Gay-Straight Binary Is Eroding. That’s Good For Everyone.

The majority of commenters seem to agree that the man is likely bisexual.

“This was soooo not his first time,” one person predicts.

“Obviously bi,” another person adds. “He’s not gonna go through any crisis for this shit.”

“Quite likely he’s curious, the opportunity came along so he went with it,” a third person hypothesizes.

“Judging by this, it isn’t his first time,” someone else agrees. “He may be bi.”

And as for whether the birthday boy should reach out to his allegedly straight paramour, the general consensus there seems to be: Sure, why not?

“Suppose a ‘hey how’s things’ text couldn’t hurt,” one person says. “If you don’t get a reply then that’s confirmation enough I would say that he isn’t interested.”

“By all means give him a call,” someone else adds. “WTF is the worst thing that can possibly happen if you do?”

“Text him in a casual way, like ‘how have you been lately,'” a third person suggests. “He doesn’t sound like dating material, but maybe he could make a nice f-ck buddy, assuming he’s good in bed and you are OK with it.”

What advice would you give this guy? Share your thoughts in the comment section below…

Graham Gremore
Graham Gremore


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