A woman has been thrown into complete turmoil after finding pages and pages of gay porn on her husband’s phone. So she’s seeking words of help from veteran advice columnist Colleen Nolan.
“I’m a 32-year-old woman,” the woman’s letter begins. “I’ve been with my partner for 10 years (married for four) and we have a child together who is nearly seven.”
She continues: “I have never been paranoid before about what my husband gets up to and have always trusted him. That was until I used his phone to search for something online and found a tab open for a gay porn site. I looked at his history and found lots more gay porn.”
Hmmm. As we’ve reported in the past, sometimes straight guys watch gay porn. So this alone shouldn’t be cause for concern. But, of course, there’s another layer to story…
“Now I’m very suspicious about him and his friendship with his best mate,” the woman continues, “as they are always together to the point where he barely spends any time with me. They even go for meals and to the cinema together.”
She says she’s never thought much of their friendship, “but now all the pieces add up and point to the fact that they’re more than friends.”
“Should I confront him?” she wonders.
Colleen wastes no time answering the question.
“Yes, absolutely,” she advises. “You can’t un-see this stuff.”
As for his best mate, she says, it’s most likely that the two are just friends.
“But because of what you’ve found you’re naturally suspicious and you’ve immediately latched on
to the idea they’re sleeping together,” she says. “You need to know one way or the other, so sit down with him, explain what you’ve seen and find out what’s going on.”
But, she cautions, “be prepared that he might turn round and admit that he’s gay or bisexual.”
“It might be one of those situations where he’s been in denial for many years or perhaps he knew his family wouldn’t accept his sexuality and he’s hoped that somehow marriage would change things,” she says.
“The bottom line is you can’t just go back to how things were before you found this material and pretend you haven’t seen it,” she concludes.
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