By Brad and Justin
Fourteen months ago my husband and I embarked on what could be one of the most scary, yet rewarding, journeys we would embark upon as a couple – growing our family through open adoption. It’s no secret that no matter how bad we wanted a child, the two of us alone couldn’t make that happen. Choosing open adoption to grow our family opened up an entire new set of thoughts and feelings. The path of open adoption requires us to be chosen by a potential birth mother, we have to woo them, if you will. Basically, we have to date them. But how do you do that with a paper brochure? With a personal website? Or through Facebook, Twitter or Instagram? We want them to believe what we wrote in our Dear Birthmother Letter and the desire we have to be dads.
If we could say three things to any potential birth parent, it would be this:
We want your child to know their adoption story. From day one we will continuously show him or her pictures of you, talk about how much you love them and as they grow up, explain to them what adoption is. Adoption is rooted in love and selflessness. Any mother with even the slightly consideration of creating an adoption plan has more love for their child than could ever be imagined. Your child will know that. We want to be there to answer questions for them and love them unconditionally.
We want you to be a part of your child’s life. No matter where you live currently, where you move to in the future or where we may end up down the road, you will always be a part of your child’s life in a way that is comfortable for everyone. We don’t only want your child to hear about his or her mommy, we want you to be able to show him as much love as we do. We want the internet to connect us with pictures, our phones to connect our voices and our personal visits to connect the love we all have for one another.
We want you to be a part of our family. One of the best parts of open adoption is becoming dads, but equally important is growing our family, you and your family. We want to get to know you, learn what you love and what makes you smile. What you like to do in your spare time and what drives you crazy. We want to get to know your family, as we know they are probably both excited and nervous. We hope to meet them and show them how excited we are to become dads. We want you to meet and get to know our families. They are extremely excited to meet you, your family and your child. We hope that this becomes one big family, all because of you and the love you have for your child.
Open adoption can be one of the scariest things anyone, on either side of the fence, can go through. Our hope is that we express our desire and dreams to truly become one with the birthmother who chooses us. We want open adoption to always be about love and selflessness and we want her to know our dedication to both her and her child.
Brad and Justin are a same-sex couple from Bristol, Virginia looking to grow their family through open adoption. They are an approved family with the Independent Adoption Center. Follow their adoption journey and held them spread the word about their adoption at www.bradANDjustinAdopt.com and www.facebook.com/bradANDjustin
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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