30% OFF Pride collection code: USAPRIDE! Free Shipping over $99

Book For Gay Dads: ‘Which One Of You Is The Mother?’

by The Next Family September 04, 2015

By Brandy Black

Which One of You is the Mother?

After fifteen years of up-all-night gay disco dance parties, Sean O’Donnell and his longtime partner Todd decided to trade in their leather chaps for mom jeans and start a family. In August 2012 the not-so ambiguously gay duo walked into a Pittsburgh-based adoption agency and said, “We’d like a child, please.” For the next several months they attended parenting classes, subjected themselves to probing FBI background checks, and completed enough paperwork to reforest the whole of the Amazon River basin. 

After all that, Sean O’Donnell decided to write a book about their experiences, called Which One Of You Is the Mother? This book was released last month and is based on life with his adoptive sons and some of the silly questions people ask two dads.

Brandy: How did your book come about?

Sean: About 2 years ago my husband and I adopted our first son, he’s 7 and this past January we adopted our 2nd son, he’s 5.  We had a lot of funny things happen through our story, people not knowing what to make of this new kind of family. Everyone was happy for us but you got the feeling that people weren’t quite sure what the protocol was.  One day this woman asked me “which one of you is the mother?”, I laughed and then she asked me again and I realized she was serious.  And that got me thinking about how people were perceiving us, then I started writing a blog about how we are navigating having a family with 2 dads in a world where mostly everyone has heterosexual parents.

Brandy: Does the book give advice?

Sean: It’s funny layered in with some advice.  I talk about the adoption process and what that was like for us.  It is certainly not a “how to adopt” book, more humorous and anecdotal.

Brandy: How was the adoption process?

Sean: I encourage everyone to adopt if it’s something on their radar.  It is the best thing we ever did, it is just such an amazing experience and there are so many kids out there who really need homes.  It’s intimidating but not as hard as you think it may be.  We didn’t even think we could adopt, we thought they wouldn’t allow two men in Pennsylvania to legally adopt a child.  When we went into the adoption agency we were shocked when they said we could adopt.  We took the classes like all the other parents, we did the certifications, background checks and it took about 9 months from the time we decided until we had our oldest son living with us, it was like a pregnancy.

The book is out on Amazon, check it out.

gay dads

The post Book For Gay Dads: ‘Which One Of You Is The Mother?’ appeared first on The Next Family.

The Next Family
The Next Family


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →