Christmas sale! $50 OFF every $200 you spend. Use code XMASPRIDE

Partying With Kids

by S Ralph March 23, 2015

 

By: Shannon Ralph

AlltheKids

Being a forty-something woman smack dab in the prime of my child-rearing years, most of my friends have children around the same age as mine. Occasionally, I will make the naively optimistic decision to invite all of my friends—and their children—to my house for dinner. Or a barbecue. Or a game night. Or a thinly-veiled cry for help.

On these occasions, the adults might have a couple of beers or a few glasses of wine. We may play a round or two of Cards Against Humanity. We’ll chat. We’ll laugh. Our “party” may even go past 8pm if we are feeling particularly wild and crazy.

At the end of the night, however, it becomes painfully apparent to everyone that the children were the ones doing the real partying all along. Our house looks like a scene from the movie Animal House.

  1. One kid is crying.
  2. A dozen half-empty juice pouches are scattered about the house.
  3. One juice pouch is upside down between the cushions of the couch.
  4. Someone is naked.
  5. There is at least one puddle of unknown origin.
  6. One kid is asleep under a bed.
  7. Three kids are having a dance party and refuse to stop.
  8. The dog is vigorously licking someone’s hand.
  9. One of the toilets is broken.
  10. Someone leaves with a black eye.
  11. Someone has wet hair and can’t (or won’t) explain why
  12. There is popcorn on the floor of every room in the house.
  13. One kid is dressed like Ironman.
  14. Ironman is having a sword fight with a kid dressed like the Incredible Hulk.
  15. 7 Nerf™ guns have been put in “time out” on top of the fridge.
  16. There is a half-eaten piece of pizza stuck to the television.
  17. Someone leaves with a black eye.
  18. At least one kid falls down (or up) the basement steps.
  19. There’s a sock in the microwave.
  20. Two kids leave in bare feet.
  21. Five jackets are left behind.
  22. All remote controls in the house are missing (and shall remain so for a week).
  23. The shower is on.
  24. One kid won’t come out of the closet (ironically, it will be one of the children with gay parents).
  25. Two kids have to be physically carried off the premises.
  26. My resolve that my family is COMPLETE with three children remains staunchly intact.

The post Partying With Kids appeared first on The Next Family.




S Ralph
S Ralph

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

e13db90f29f21c3e81584d04ee44408be273e7d61cb710479cf7_640_fitness-300x214@2x

Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment

SidsFamily

By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →