By Brandy Black
The days move so fast I feel like I can’t see straight. Suddenly I am the mother of a 6-year-old in 1st grade and 2-year-old twins that are starting preschool. I’ve been waiting for this day since they were born, wanting them to be on their feet, independent and sturdy. That last one is key. The first years of parenting twins is all about survival, for me, my relationship and most importantly the twins! I will admit, now that it’s all over…I am a terrible person to parent infants with. I am a mama bear to the core. I am fierce and a stronger woman than I ever imagined to be when I have a baby in my arms. Postpartum depression wasn’t my issue, it was as if I was going into a war zone with those children and I ducked, tumbled, kicked, screamed, whatever I had to do to get them through their day. I thought everyone was going in for the kill…my wife wanted to take them to lunch…karate chop those keys out of her hand….a barrage of questions….how long, why, when, where, don’t you think it’s just best they stay home? I was crazy, I had no control, my hormones kicked in and I went from someone who loves to be taken care of to a maniacal care taker. It is an empowering feeling, one that gives you a strong bond with your little ones but the spouse of a wife like me has got to be strong.
Luckily, I can say that we are on the other side, I am back to my normal semi-difficult self. In one week we send the two little ones off to school for the first time and although I can’t believe I will never have another tiny baby of my own, I am ready to be on the other side of the infant/toddler stages. I am ready to begin new traditions that involve conversations about sharing our days rather than spit up and naptime schedules. Parenthood is 100% selfless and I admire every brave soul that endures it. Not because we don’t love most minutes of our days but because our days are rarely about us. So these milestones, that mark time for our children, mark substantial moments for us too, small glimpses of freedom for the parents, realizing that maybe for a second it can be about us again. We may actually be able to sneak in a mid-day lunch together or an afternoon coffee.
So we prepare.
For the Kids:
Sleeping bags for naptime. Check
How to make friends discussion. Check
Review of “clean up after yourself” rules. Check
For the Parents:
Negotiation of pick up and drop off schedule. Check
Tissues for the tears that will immediately follow the first, second and third day of school. Check
The day is near and we are ready.
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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