Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Jedi Training for Resolving Relationship Conflicts

by The Next Family March 19, 2014

By Ben Stich


So, I am one of those cheesy people that draw meaning from the original classic sci-fi Star Wars trilogy.

I know it is mostly over-simplified messages packaged with light sabers, cool characters, mystical forces, and huge spaceships. But what can I tell you? I love it.


Why am I telling you this? To set the stage for one of my favorite movie lines. A line that I think has profound relevance to marital conflict that I see time and again in mediation.

Star Wars & Conflict Resolution Strategies?

Remember in Return of the Jedi when Luke confronted Obi-Wan for lying to him about his father’s true identity? Luke was furious – even betrayed – by Obi-Wan’s omission.

Obi-Wan did not get defensive. He did not make excuses.

He simply, and wisely, told him, “Luke, you will find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.”


The truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. Isn’t that so true? Especially when it comes to the difficulties we have resolving conflict with our spouse?

In other words, the storylines we play in our heads shape our interpretation of events and experiences. In a recent post I shared a story of a wife who made false assumptions about her husband due to her point of view. The truth she clung to made resolving conflict with her husband very difficult.

Obi-Wan is implying that if Luke had opened his eyes to view things from alternative perspectives – or perhaps embrace the force more fully – he may have figured out the truth about his father earlier.

Jedi Tricks Are Great Conflict Resolution Strategies

Resolving relationship conflicts are always easier when multiple points of view are taken in to consideration. It can be hard for sure (after all, Luke struggled and he was a Jedi in training!), but some strategies can be helpful:

These strategies are easier said than done.

Padawan train for years to develop the skills needed to earn Jedi Master status. Luke was not able to lift his X-Wing from the swamp when he first tried. Likewise, learning each of these strategies requires practice, patience, and a commitment to improving your approach to conflict.

What other Jedi mind tricks can you suggest to keep an open mind to alternative points of view?


Ben Stich helps families resolve conflict through family mediation and divorce mediation in Massachusetts  His services include mediation for parenting disputes, marriage problems, separation and divorce, parents and teenagers and family conflicts. Read more communication and conflict resolution tips on his blog at Connect with Ben on Google+

The article was published on Good Men Project 

The post Jedi Training for Resolving Relationship Conflicts appeared first on The Next Family.

The Next Family
The Next Family


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →