By Carol Rood
Today I had a conversation with my Wii Fit that had me saying WTF??
Let me set the scene for you: I came downstairs to see the boys off to school. Once they left I decided to check my weight on the Wii Fit. I get on the board…
Wii: “Well good morning Carol. Are you feeling refreshed today?”
Me: “Yes thank you.”
Wii: “So, how is Bluebell doing? I haven’t seen her lately.”
me: “She’s fine.”
Wii:”So how does Bluebell look to you?”
(4 options to choose from):
A. She looks the same
B. She looks skinnier
C. She looks bigger
D. I haven’t looked at her
I choose A because it is true.
Thinking it is a relationship counselor, Wii says: “Change is exciting don’t you agree? Maybe you should pay more attention to Bluebell.”
I was like, “Look here, I pay enough attention to Bluebell. Watch, I am going to call her and ask her. You’ll see, Missy!”
So I did. I called Bluebell.
I told her about the conversation I was having with the Wii and she laughed … and laughed. Really? I expected her to take my side. But nope….she thought it was hilarious. She was still laughing as I hung up.
So I turn back to the TV, hit the “A” button on the controller to move on, and the Wii says to me: “On a side note did you know that dogs become more motivated if their owners pay attention to them?”
Seriously? Now somehow it is MY fault that Bluebell looks the same??
I am NOT joking here people, I can’t even make this shit up.
Finally I weigh myself. And the Wii says, “Oh, you missed your goal. Do you want to make a new one? Maybe you need to work harder.”
me: “Listen bitch, I think I have had enough of your smack talk today! I bought you, I own you, you are mine, and I don’t want any more sass from you!”
I was a tough bad-ass talker. However, my actions were different. After I yelled at the tv, I meekly and quietly entered a new goal.
And the saddest part is that I will do it again next week.
You can also find me at: Coffee, Clutter and Chaos
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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