Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Why Do You Assume I Have A Husband?

by The Next Family September 11, 2012

By Evie Peck

The woman at the counter handed me two nametags.

“One for your husband,” she said.

“No husband,” I said, pushing the extra nametag back.

At the age of forty, I decided to have a baby, even though I was not in a relationship. My best friend of twenty years was my sperm donor. Though choosing a nontraditional family was the right choice for me, I was still getting used to certain potentially awkward situations; like baby class.

I went into the classroom and sat amongst many pregnant ladies and their partners. The instructor Pam came in yelling,

“Husbands! Husbands! There’s beer for the husbands! Husbands, go get a beer!”

She said “husbands” with a lot of force and frequency.  I wondered if the word “husbands” bothered anyone else.  Was “dads” better?  “Partners”?  What would she do if there was a lesbian couple?

I had a little bit of that I’m missing something feeling. I had to give myself a quick, internal pep talk:

Remember, you can do this and you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone. Remember, you are doing this your own way and you are going to be a mom!

“Is your husband coming?” Pam asked me, as men started leaving the room to get their brews. I wanted to give a cute answer like, “I don’t know, you tell me.” Or “I haven’t met him yet,” but I didn’t want to sound bitter, so I just gave a little smile.

Soon, the room was full of boozing husbands. Crap. I wanted a beer too. I silently pep-talked myself again.

Then it was time for group introductions. When it was my turn to introduce myself, I spoke loudly, “I’m Evie. I’m a single mom and my best friend, who happens to be gay, donated the sperm, but I am parenting on my own.”

Pam stared at me with a frozen smile. After a minute she asked, “No husband?”

I shook my head with pride and Pam moved on to a lesson.

Pam launched into a whole rehearsed bit about something called The Witching Hour. She dramatically set the scene: “It starts in the early evening. Moms, your baby is screaming and crying and you can’t make her stop. You are starving but you have no time to eat.

Husbands, you call from work and say you are bringing home dinner – don’t ask what they want for dinner! Just bring something! You know your wives! Bring them what they like. Then when you get home, you take the baby so your wife can eat!”

Pam looked around the room, making eye contact with all the moms and husbands, until she got to me. She paused and then said… “For you… Trader Joe’s is your husband.”

I was horrified and yet… now I had a husband! Trader Joe! Well, maybe I had husbands – I have all the Trader Joeses. I’m a polyamorist.

I could do worse.

At the age of 40 I decided to become a mom, even though I was not in a relationship. My blog tells stories of how I got here, the bad dates I used to have, and how it is to be a mom solo.

The post Why Do You Assume I Have A Husband? appeared first on The Next Family.

The Next Family
The Next Family


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →