Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Know Thyself

by S Ralph August 22, 2012

By: Shannon Ralph

As I sit on the precipice of my 40th year, I am finding myself becoming a bit more reflective. More thoughtful. I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin and better aware of who I am as a person. What I enjoy. What I value. What I know to be true. Today, I present to you a list.

15 Things I Know About Myself at Age 39 ¾:

  1. Chances are slim that I will ever be an athlete. And I am okay with that. I will, however, continue to buy running shoes, as I like to cultivate the aura of an athlete. And I like the pretty colors.
  2. My daughter is both my sweetest reward for all of the good I have ever done in my 39 ¾ years on this Earth AND my punishment for all of the hell I have ever unleashed on my unsuspecting family and friends. On her birthday every year, we observe a moment of silence to commemorate the day Mommy became Karma’s bitch.
  3. I can occasionally wear capri pants without feeling like a fat girl who wears capri pants. Not always. Just sometimes.
  4. The fact that I have had basically the same hairstyle—varying the length by only an inch or two—for the last 20+ years is proof positive that I am not a risk-taker, despite my protestations to the contrary.
  5. Jägermeister tastes like shit for a reason.
  6. I do not now, nor will I ever—no matter how many times I drink it and regardless of the number of flavors I ingest—like tea. I don’t have it in me.
  7. Buying a bathing suit will never be something I enjoy.
  8. I do, however, enjoy bossing people around without actually being ultimately responsible. Apparently, I missed my calling as a politician.
  9. I will one day die, never having achieved even a basic, rudimentary understanding of how the stock market really works.
  10. I like wine.
  11. I used to think that I was ill-equipped to raise boys. I now realize that I am ill-equipped to raise even a common house plant.
  12. I take competition to an ugly place. I am competitive to the point that Ruanita refuses to play most common board games with me. It is not an attractive trait.
  13. I have no need of illicit drugs. I can get the same forbidden high cleaning out my ears with a Q-tip.
  14. I like dogs more than I like most people.
  15. Being a mother is my greatest accomplishment in life. And I do not say that merely out of a lack of other accomplishments.

The post Know Thyself appeared first on The Next Family.

S Ralph
S Ralph


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →