Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

When Do You Feel Like a Mom?

by Kerrie Olejarz June 25, 2012

By: Kerrie Olejarz


After all we had been through it was difficult to feel like a mom, whatever that was supposed to feel like.  I cared for this little girl with love and concern, but did this make me a mom?  I often felt like Cailyn was on loan to us, not ours to keep.  Finally at the six-month point we decided to have professional photos taken of Cailyn and us.  It was at this point, seeing the final photos of us as a family, looking so happy and complete that I think…I felt like a mom.  Upon receiving the online proofs, I would sit and stare at the family shots in awe.  This was it, finally, we were a family. But is being a family and feeling like a mom one in the same?   Despite being a family, what was a mom?  I decided not to wear high-waisted mom jeans and white runners.  I didn’t drive a mini van and not every conversation I had was about the baby.  Sure, I looked disheveled and didn’t bathe for days on end, but did that make me a mom? I proudly wore clothing covered in spit up, my hair was always tied back, and I didn’t care that the crotch in my yoga pants was full of holes. I don’t think moms give up on their appearances, maybe just go on hiatus for the first few months with baby due to lack of sleep and routine.   I am not sure, other than in the dictionary, that there really is a true definition of a mom.   When I googled the word mother, I find ” a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent”, so by this definition I was, and am, a mom/mother.  I guess I struggled with becoming “mom” because I didn’t have the nine months to feel this little one grow.  Instead, I received frequent emails from India with ultrasound pictures; I was having a baby by email! I held off on all things baby until 32 weeks in fear that something would go wrong.  I spent almost fifteen years shielding my emotions and covering up how desperately I wanted to be a mom.  The turning point for me was when Cailyn reached for me randomly one day; this meant she wanted or needed me, and it was at this moment that the reality of who I now am was very clear.  I am a mom, I feel like a mom, and my baby calls me Mama.

The post When Do You Feel Like a Mom? appeared first on The Next Family.

Kerrie Olejarz
Kerrie Olejarz


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →