It’s been a while since I have written about any recent racial issues our family has experienced. However, sadly, it’s not for lack of them happening in our lives, it’s simply because I have been crazy busy. I actually have a list I could write about. As each year passes I assume we are going to have fewer and fewer racist problems arise. That is my hope, but not the reality…yet.
A couple of weeks ago we had a very disheartening letter arrive in the mail. It was addressed to our daughter and shocked us all. She just so happened to check the mail that day and was excited to receive something addressed to her. That excitement quickly turned to disbelief after she opened the letter and saw what was inside. We were with two of her friends and she looked at them with wide eyes and handed the letter to me and said, “Mama, what is this?” I read it and thought it was a joke. Then I realized it was far from being funny and was actually filled with hate. We couldn’t understand why someone would send such a cruel letter to our house and to her. The hand written return address was from Las Vegas, NV and the postal stamp where the letter was mailed was from Santa Ana, CA. Someone was trying to be tricky but clearly they weren’t very bright. After I read it, I handed it to her friends and they read it and said, “Who takes the time to send something like this and who still cares about what color people are?” None of us could wrap our brains around what would possess someone to send a hateful letter to our home.
After the initial shock wore off, the worry started to set in, at least for me. The fact that someone had our address and child’s name totally freaked me out. My other concern was how this would affect her. I told her not to let it get her down and that the person that wrote the letter obviously doesn’t know her at all because she is achieving all of her goals and then some! She said she knew that but still didn’t get why someone would send something so mean.
We went on with our day and the letter hung over our heads like a small dark cloud. At the end of the day when we all got home, I shared it with her daddy. His response was, “I’m surprised it took so long for something like this to show up after all the interracial stories that have been written about our family.” To him it’s just the reality of our world, and to me it’s so sad and has to end!
After the conversation with my husband I shared the letter on Facebook. Everyone was shocked! A police officer friend messaged me and told me to call the local police because the letter is considered hate mail. So I did. The officer came out and said that it could have been from a stranger because of all the articles about our family or it could have been from a bully that was jealous or had issues with our daughter. Either way, hate is hate. He told us to save the letter and to call them if we receive anything else. We are all hoping this was a one time incident.
The irony is, when anything racial happens in our lives it has the EXACT opposite affect that the racist wants it to have. After 20 years of dealing with things like this, our family just gets stronger and stronger. That same night, Tatiana was going to spend the night at her cousin’s house and as she walked out the door she sarcastically said, “Okay, I’m leaving now and I’m going out to achieve nothing in life!” We all just laughed! I was so happy to see she was taking it all in stride and was totally confident in herself and all that she is achieving. Smiles all around!
In the end I feel sorry for someone who has so much hate inside they feel the need to send it through the mail in an anonymous letter. The energy it took to write the letter, think about the fake address and send it, all based on hate….what a horrible way to live. I don’t wish that on anyone.
We are now MORE determined than ever to live in love and to continue to follow our dreams! I forgive the hate and I hope the letter writer is able to let it go and find love and happiness in their life…sooner than later. That is my dream for them.
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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