By: Brandy Black
I’ll admit it. I never understood twins. I never understood parents of twins with their “twin” theories. I knew identical twins growing up, Katie and Kristy, I could never tell them apart and they always dressed alike and I thought it was weird. They seemed to be each other’s best friend and their sister was always on the outside of their world. I felt bad for her. I felt bad for Sophia when I found out we were having twins. I worried that she would not feel included by “the twins.” I was tired of people telling me how special twins are and how lucky I was. If you remember I was a little freaked out about the notion of having 3 kids in the first place so “double trouble” added fuel to my fire.
When Penn and Bella were born I learned almost immediately what is so extraordinary about twins. The first night in the hospital Penn began crying, he’d been fed, changed, burped, I couldn’t figure it out until I put him next to Bella and he went silent. He would move into her as much as his body could and still does. He searches for her in a room and is content when she’s by his side. I put them next to one another as often as possible simply because they are happier that way. They are bonded in a way that I will never understand. When Bella cries Penn will cry too in the same rhythm almost as to make her voice louder. When she scratches and kicks him he takes it, finding comfort in feeling her by his side. They aren’t bothered by arms and legs overlapping, they are often intertwined. Their closeness is gorgeous and now I get it. I hope they are lucky enough to love and protect one another the way they do now. They will never be lonely.
I thought I would feel on the outside of that special connection but I am amazed and blessed and relieved that they will have each other. It comforts me to know that all three of my children will have one another. Today my oldest, Sophia, held Bella’s hand on the car ride home. When Sophia walks in Bella stops and turns her head, she babbles out “Sophia”, she smiles when she is near. I envy what they will all get from one another and will never regret the decisions we’ve made. It has been worth it, having kids, having THREE kids, having twins, it’s been a miracle that I could not have predicted or even planned but has changed my life for the absolute best.
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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