30% OFF Pride collection code: USAPRIDE! Free Shipping over $99

Moods, Meds, and Maybes

by Lex Jacobson March 15, 2012

By Lex Jacobson

We are not pregnant again this month. The “we-tried-we-waited-two-weeks-and-we-failed” thing is becoming an old story now, one that I hope will end a little differently next month. A happy ending would be really nice about now.

It is tough not to get discouraged, and those first few days after the negative test results, I feel as though I’m swimming in a pit of my own misery, but luckily it’s been passing and the week gets easier when I realize that it’s not that far away from my next attempt.

Next month brings a lot of pressure, specifically because if we don’t get pregnant, we won’t have our baby this year (if I carry to term). 2012 feels like it has just started, in my mind, I can hardly fathom waiting until 2013 to have our baby. I know it will feel a lot less desperate when I’m actually pregnant, as we’ll have something to look forward to, and a future date to celebrate, but right now, next year seems so far away.

On the health front, I haven’t decreased any of my medications since mid-January. I wanted to have a few stable months before we tried anything else. I’ve been told by two different doctors that I’ve done enough – that decreasing the amounts that I did will be significantly better for the baby, and that I do not have to play around with any more of my doses. That makes me feel great and I’m very proud of the last two years of getting to a relatively healthy place. But I am also getting antsy and want to try something else.

In my mind, the fewer meds the better, but I know my psychiatrists are wary of too much change. If I get pregnant now and don’t change a thing, they are confident that I’ve done enough to carry a healthy fetus with no long-term effects from exposure to meds. Like anything in life, there is no guarantee, and we won’t know until we know, but it is nice to hear from the experts that we’re doing well with where we’re at. I’m making myself wait at least a month, and then I would consider playing around again with one of my anti-depressants.

I picked up a month’s worth of meds just a few hours ago. Two years ago, my monthly medication bill came to about $500 (covered, luckily). With all of the decreases, the bill today came to $137. Monetarily, I’m spending almost 75% less than I was, which means that I’m roughly putting 75% fewer “toxins” into my body – and my future fetus – than I was two years ago. I hesitate to call them “toxins,” because I know for me, they are as important as oxygen. But it’s not just me that I have to worry about anymore.

I’m not ready to come off the meds completely, but I do have a goal. I’d like to be drug-free in four years. That covers a pregnancy, a year of post-partum when I’m at home with the baby, a year of transitioning back to work and a buffer to play with.

By the time we try for #2, I would like to be able to have a natural pregnancy. Who knows whether that could happen. And who knows whether we’ll go for a #2! Let’s focus on getting #1 for now…

The post Moods, Meds, and Maybes appeared first on The Next Family.

Lex Jacobson
Lex Jacobson


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →