Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Born This Way? Born That way?

by Carol Rood March 13, 2012

By: Carol Rood

We are all born a certain way. With a certain genetic code that decides what color hair we will have, how tall we will be, how stout. It tells us what color eyes we will have -hazel, green, brown or blue. Or in the case of my friend Tanja, one blue and one brown. Actually, Tanja has one blue eye and her other eye is half brown and half blue. Our DNA decides if we will be born with all of our body parts and brains fully functioning, or if we are missing a chromosome, or piece of DNA, it decides if we will have Down’s Syndrome, or autism, or any number of other genetic birth defects.

That being said, what about gender and sex? Of course we know our gender and sex are determined by our DNA. But what about sexual orientation?

Many will say that people CHOOSE to be gay or straight. Others say they are born gay or straight. I am not a scholar and I have not done enough research to determine if the scientific data supports either theory. All I can tell you is what people have told me.

I wrote last week about how I was a guest on a panel of LGBT people for a class at church. Our church teaches sexuality classes using a curriculum called Our Whole Lives. It is a wonderful curriculum that is age appropriate and divided into age groups such as 4-5 grade, 7-9 grade, 10-12 grade as well as adult classes. We are currently teaching a 7-9 grade class, and there is a session that is a guest panel of LGBT people. This is the final session of those discussing sexual orientation, gender, and stereotypes. I invited a young man who is 19 and came out as a gay male the summer before his senior year of high school, a young lady who came out a few weeks ago (she is a senior in high school) and a young man who is a senior and who has not completely come out yet, just to some friends. I decided I would put myself on the panel as a “back up” in case any of the young people didn’t show up. I prefer to have young people on the panel because they relate well to 7-9 grade kids.

It was prior to that class that I had the discussion about exactly what my sexuality is and one of the people I was talking to told me about Pansexuality.

I was very intrigued by what one of the guests on the panel had to say when he told his story. I am going to call him “GQ Dude”. If you have ever seen the handsome men on the cover of that magazine, you will get the picture. GQ Dude is 19 years old. He is very handsome and is NOTHING like a stereotypical gay male. He is athletic. He is not flamboyant at all. As a matter of fact he is not someone I would ever guess is gay if I were to meet him for the first time. I actually knew who this young man was, because he dated my best friend’s daughter for a short time a few years ago. His family lives in my neighborhood. I had never met him personally, but I knew his mom and dad.

GQ Dude was kind enough to come to the GLBT panel for my 7-9 graders, and he told us his story. He told us that after years of trying to fool himself by dating lots of young ladies, he came out the summer before his senior year. He said his friends all but abandoned him, and the church where his family had been worshiping for years turned their backs on him. He was told he was “going to hell”, and that they could “love him, but not his sin.”

He told us about how he spent weeks inside the house because his friends would not speak to him or answer his calls. He felt alone, betrayed, and abandoned. All because he decided to be honest about who he is.

It was at that point that he stopped himself, and said, “You know, I hear people say that gay people choose to be gay, but I am here to tell you that is not true. Why would I choose this lifestyle? Choose being discriminated against? Choose a lifestyle that made my friends and church family abandon me? Choose an orientation where I can’t even walk down the street holding my boyfriend’s hand? Who would choose that? Nobody would.”

GQ Dude articulated the thoughts that I believe MANY GLBT people have had. Why in the world would we CHOOSE to be born that way? A life of discrimination, ridicule, and being treated differently? A life where you can’t have a legally binding civil union or marriage (or whatever term you prefer to use) in most of the 50 states in this country. A lifestyle where you get bullied and picked on in school.

These are questions that anyone who believes that being gay is a choice should ask themselves. It would be much easier to be heterosexual. I think GQ Dude is absolutely right! You go dude!

Or, as my friend Lady GaGa says,

The post Born This Way? Born That way? appeared first on The Next Family.

Carol Rood
Carol Rood


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →