By: Lex Jacobson
It is one week after our insemination and I am pregnant until proven otherwise, or “PUPO” as they say when trying to conceive. It’s a nice place to be, but quite honestly, it’s exhausting too. Every month for two weeks, I believe I’m pregnant. If we were trying to get pregnant for a year without results, I’d be pregnant for 24 weeks – almost half a year.
The alternative is not all that nice either: Not believing you’re pregnant until you get the two lines on the pregnancy test. It might be gentler on the psyche though. Mind you, none of this is very gentle on the psyche. This fertility stuff is definitely not for the weak.
We had our third insemination on Thursday, our first attempt after the early pregnancy loss in October. It feels good to be back trying again. All went as well as it could have gone, I guess. We had two very large mature follicles, which will help with our chances and also increase the chance of twins. We were happy that there were no more than two. Thankfully, my nightmares of having sextuplets have dissipated.
On weekdays, I have a routine that is based around the workday with breakfast and lunch and snacks and vitamins and lots of water. On the weekends, I’ve been known to not take care of myself that well. We’ve had a lazy weekend and I forget that gone are the days where I can lie in bed and drink coffee without eating for the first five hours of being awake.
You’d think it would be good for me to start taking better care of myself consistently, and that is true. It doesn’t make it any less exhausting though. But I promised myself that I would do everything I can to contribute to this baby’s health – everything that is in my power. So, grocery shopping will get done, sleep will be had, water will be consumed and only good stuff will be entering my body. And I will talk to the baby, even if there is a chance that there is nothing there. I want him/her to know that s/he’s already so wanted and loved.
Hoping for an early Christmas gift this year.
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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