Cyber Monday 50% OFF SITE WIDE! Check it out now | Free Shipping + Financing Available!

HoBos for the Holidays

by Ted Peterson December 02, 2011

By: Ted Peterson

When I came out to my parents, my dad said thanks for letting him know, and to his credit, kept the car he was driving at that moment from careening off County Road 30 into Lake Montauk.  My mom first wanted to know if I was seeing anyone.  When I said I wasn’t, she said that I should, because life is better when you’re sharing it with
someone.  She also said that it was a shame that I wasn’t straight, because I would have smart, cute kids.

Ten years after that conversation, they’re happy that I snagged someone awesome and even managed to become a dad of a smart, cute kid.

Happiest Day Of My Life

My parents thought that by my being gay they would escape all sorts of mawkish, maudlin traditions that they themselves had managed to avoid.  For example, weddings.  My parents eloped, and they thought that the least someone who couldn’t legally get married would do is follow their example.  But no, Ian and I had to have a ceremony and tea for 75 in our backyard, and my mom and dad showed up and were cheerful about it.  At least, they figured, we weren’t doing the whole hokey Christmas thing.

And then we did it.  We got a pine tree in our living room, and we got stockings over the fireplace, and if someone didn’t tell us about the saturated fat and cholesterol in egg nog, we might have done that too.
We’ve gone round the bend from the holiday traditions in my parents’ house.  When I tell people that, growing up, I didn’t have a Christmas tree, or stockings, or egg nog, or carols, or tales of St Nicholas, or boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la, they look at me with raw, naked horror.  I’d explain that we’d escape the Ohio winter somewhere warm, the Caribbean or Florida, and one year, Egypt, but still, nothing but pity for me missing out on fruitcake and wassail (whatever that is).

Present Tense.

I don’t have to escape anymore.  I live in Los Angeles, a city with no discernible winter, where children don’t have snowball fights, or make snow angels, and adults seldom slide off the icy freeways into fiery wrecks, the pink hues of which blend gorgeously in the sky with the glorious aura borealis.

Yet, while I flirted with the high holidays in the days before I became a dad, now I’ve gone from Scrooge to Fezziwig*.

This weekend, we’re putting up lights, and the following one, we’re getting a tree.  My parents are fine with that, because they know it makes Mikey happy.  We had signs of it happening before, but in the words of Jonah Goldberg, we’ve become full-fledged Homosexual Bourgeois, or HoBos.

Maybe when he’s six or seven, we ditch all this and go to Buenos Aires at the end of December.  We’ll see.

*Reread A Christmas Carol if you’re not sure who this is.  Or watch The Muppet Christmas Carol, where he is called Fozziwig. Wocka Wocka Wocka.

The post HoBos for the Holidays appeared first on The Next Family.




Ted Peterson
Ted Peterson

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

e13db90f29f21c3e81584d04ee44408be273e7d61cb710479cf7_640_fitness-300x214@2x

Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment

SidsFamily

By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →