By: Chris Coyne
October 19 2011, afternoon
Last night I received a call from our amazing attorney in California. “Chris, this is your stork calling.” I knew his voice and I knew why he was calling. A birthmother had chosen us. I know very few details at this point but I am super excited. It took us years to have a successful adoption. It looks like it will only take a few months to have another.
Our profile stood out again. We look extremely happy and CJ looks like he is insanely happy. There are questions looming and out minds are running on overdrive. We hope and pray we are what she is looking for as adoptive parents. We hope the future she dreams for her unborn child includes us.
I am normally a planner. We do not know the sex of the child as of yet. All we know is the physical details of this thoughtful stranger. She chose us and in a few long hours we have a phone call with her. We are going into the call hopeful, happy, and excited to get to know her.
October 19, evening
It’s official. We are matched. The call went very well. It was an easy conversation. It flowed naturally and normally. After the call with a birthmother the attorney would call the adoptive parents and tell them the birthmother wished to move forward. In our case the birthmother made it very clear we were her only choise and she was excited after the call. We are going to be dads!! The due date is March 16, 2012. We are so excited. So much to take in at once.
October 29, 2012
The days following a match are busy. I had to send off some paperwork, touch base with our attorny, speak to our adoption case worker in Maryland, and call every person we know to tell them our great news. We have our birthmother’s contact information and we are now in close contact with her. In the ten days that have passed we have gone through every emotion possible. Today we are back at the beginning; we are excited. Our birthmother had a doctor’s appointment this week and she had an ultrasound. The baby did not cooperate during the procedure and insisted in keeping his/her legs crossed to not reveal the sex. Of course we were a little disappointed but not as much as our birthmother. She needed to find out the sex. She was on a mission to find out the sex. So she made an appointment at her local 3d ultrasound salon and we are very pleased to announce we are expecting a baby girl! I am seeing pink.
So with that new news we called everyone we could call. We texted those who did not answer and we posted all over our facebooks! We are going to have a little girl.
October 31, 2011
I called our birthmother today because I wanted to say Happy Halloween. CJ has two Halloween parties he has to go to, one of them at the local kids’ gym class and one we are hosting at our house. I am super excited to tell all the moms at my “moms” group about the match and our expecting a little girl. I know they will all be super supportive. I am trying to get some of my thoughts down but it is impossible to explain everything we are going through at once. Some of it is obvious and some of it is dark. We have been through so much in the few years we have been together. Some of the most amazing things that have ever happened to me were in that time. Also some of the hardest things. The hardest thing ever was the failed adoption of identical twin girls two and a half years ago. We know we would not have had the opportunity of matching with CJ’s birthmom if that failure never happened. We see the blessing now but we still hold on to the memories of those poor little girls. Like I said some of our thoughts are happy and some are sad. We know this little girl will change our lives forever. We are excited for CJ to be a big brother.
I am sorry for the ramble. My thoughts will continue to jump here and there until it all sets in. Our friends and family have been very supportive and our birthmother is awesome. She is dedicated to her decision for us to parent her unborn baby girl. She will grow to know us over the next five months and we are looking forward to that. We will continue to be positive and wear our perma-grins. After all, we are the same people that went into this. We knew what we signed up for and look forward to those first breaths of our baby girl. Let the games begin! Now we have to name her. Get out the spreadsheets, let the endless conversations about names and their meanings begin. Let the shopping begin! Pink! It is the new black!
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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