By: Brandy Black
I’m heading into the home stretch, if we want to call it that. The back pains have begun, the fluttering in my belly now feels like shoving, carpal tunnel has kicked in full gear, and to top it off I’m sick. Actually to top that off, I’m on modified bed rest. Oh and to top all of that off, I have gestational diabetes. This is not meant to be a pity party; I actually feel lucky compared to many of the other stories I hear from moms of twins. I’m not in the hospital and I’m able to spend time with my lovely family each day. The trouble is the nesting has kicked in –noticing every dirt stain, nick, scratch on the wall, feeling like the entire place is so disorganized which, let’s be honest, it is because we just moved here, but I mean even the organized is not orderly enough. I’m anxious about the possible lack of time we have to get everything together and even though I reassure myself that we don’t really need anything for newborns but my boobs (oh don’t get me started on the daunting fear of nursing two at once) and a co-sleeper by our bed, I haven’t fully convinced myself that I can live without the nursery being perfectly prepared for their sweet arrival. With our first daughter Sophia, I had everything set up. I loved walking in that room at night, dimming the lights and rocking in the chair thinking of how she would feel in her cozy little room. She was two weeks late and I cherished every day because it was a day to make her room cleaner, neater, and tidier than the last.
Cut to the twins’ nursery (by the way, not so PC to call them “the twins” anymore, as I’ve learned from a kid’s therapist – more on that later). Nothing is built (hopefully some of it tomorrow), nothing painted, it’s lavender and may stay that way (hope that’s ok baby boy), nothing’s organized, still lots of bags and boxes and well I never walk in there at night, it would just depress me. The worst of it is that I have to lie on this damn couch and do nothing while there is so much to be done. Susan has been wonderful and helpful through it all but there is only so much bossing she can take from me and there is so much more that I could do faster without having to explain myself every two minutes.
Oh and my sleep. Let me just put it this way: don’t tell me to get lots of rest now because that is over. My bladder only allows me to get one hour of sleep at a time without reminding me to race to the bathroom. Ah nature, gotta love how it really does prepare you for the inevitable. In the middle of the night, I lie in bed wondering if one hour is all I will get with these little miracles. Will these gosh darn little suckers be up EVERY HOUR?!
I remind myself that I really was deliriously, deliciously happy with my newborn Sophia. I loved every sleep-deprived second of my time with her. I can only hope that I feel the same way with these two.
That’s the 31-week update. I suppose if you stop hearing from me, the fun has begun and likely Madge, our trusted marketing director, will be updating via Facebook.
A huge congrats to Tanya (one of our bloggers) and her wife Erikka on the safe and healthy arrival of baby Harrison!
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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