By: Brandy Black
I’m sitting in the living room of our new home next to the window that overlooks our tree-lined street and even among the boxes I feel a sense of calm. It’s different than that of my last blog –a safe, quiet, simple suburbia kind of calm.
I have fought “the burbs” since we began the discussions of marriage and children. I love the city, I love the buzz, I love being “hip” even though I don’t know that I ever have been. I always imagined suburbia to be stifling and boring and so totally not me. But now here I am, happy to know that the neighbors to the right of us are having a baby, the people across from us have children that play in the yard daily, and that I will see pumpkins cheering up the neighborhood each morning. I’m only 8 minutes from my old home yet we are in a completely different world.
Fall has always been my favorite season –the colors, the leaves, holidays around the corner, pumpkin-spiced lattes…but this fall is full of change. New streets to roam, parks to discover, people to meet. We ventured to our nearest grocery store and were delighted by the mini carts for kids. I melted when our daughter roamed the aisles tossing things in her cart, feeling such a part of our weekly routine.
I’ll admit, when I raced us out of our 2-bedroom house, made us sell fast and furious and literally turned our lives upside down, I was nervous. Susan fought me, friends advised against it, and for good reason but I knew it was time. Or did I? I second-guessed myself, I cried a lot, worried even more that I was steering us in the wrong direction. But I couldn’t really admit it because I was the captain of the decision; I had to own it and make the family feel safe. I lacked confidence. I was terrified. But now I couldn’t be happier with the life that we are creating. Sophia begs to go back to our new home when she gets out of school. She is proud to help unload the dishwasher (yes! we finally have a dishwasher), she has her own playroom (that she is aware she will soon be sharing) and we all have space to breathe. I can’t hear my family at the other end of the house and I can’t tell you how badly I needed that –the feeling of getting away without having to race out to a coffee shop to have a moment alone.
Time is certainly moving quickly, and we still have so much to do and I’m exhausted at 29 weeks pregnant, but my family is happy and that is what’s most important.
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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