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Gay Dad: The Road Ahead

by The Next Family July 15, 2011

By: The Queen Father

I was feeding Gabriel his lunch of broccoli, spinach, and chicken pasta (all made from scratch because I am a fully fledged Bree Van De Kamp if you did not know…minus the controlling issues…no, ok, I’m lying…throw those in as well), and “happened” to be watching cartoons.

During an episode of “Humf” (one of Gabriel’s new favourites), the little furry character that happens to be a boy, wanted to play “princesses” with his little girl friend Loon because “he liked to sit on a lot of cushions like a princess, as much as Loon did.”

Fair point.

I thought the outcome would have been Humf being told that as a boy he could not play at being a princess, but I was to be pleasantly surprised.

“Of course Humf!” said Daddy, “you can be whatever you want to be!”


Not so much for the gender roles and stuff (after all, a Princess will ALWAYS be a girl, and a Prince a boy, thank God), but for recognizing the educational freedom that every child should have to explore his own fantasy world away from the noxious fumes of parameters and pre-set standards. (NOTE: this is not saying I agree with those two weirdos wanting to raise their child “gender free” –they’re just mad.)

As I was enjoying this little triumph inside my head, something came into my mind –a question that hangs upon our heads and threatens to dampen our spirits:

“What about the difficulties our kids will have to face growing up in a society of heterosexual families?”

Of course potentially there could be difficulties and boundaries to break.

Our children are trailblazers; they are shaping our society’s future.

Back at the beginning of the last century, in the United States, would you have told a black couple not to have a child, but to think instead about the difficulties he/she would have had to face growing up in a hostile white society?

They would have told you about the hope they had in their hearts that, in future’s society, their children would not have to endure the same hardship they had to endure.

Would you, about forty years ago, have told an interracial couple here in London not to have children, but to think of the difficulties of growing up in a “black or white” society?

They would have told you about the hope they had in their hearts that, in future’s society, their children would not have to be treated differently because of their “mixed ethnic background”.

Society has changed much; we now live in a multi-cultural, multi-racial society.

For some of us, hope remains the same.

When President Obama climbed that podium to deliver his first presidential speech, many of the black members of the public cried tears of joy.

They were thinking of the times when their parents fought to even get into a university building or any other public structure catering only for the white part of society.

In the same way, when I look at my son, I feel moved thinking of the times when being a homosexual was a criminal offense punished by imprisonment.

I think of all those people that had to endure the police truncheons cracking their bones, the jeering crowds, the recriminating church ministers, the indifference of the politicians.

Look at us now.

Here in the UK we can get married (or, more correctly, we can get “Civil Partnered”). We can adopt and even have children through surrogacy. (Albeit, the laws surrounding surrogacy are still a grey area and in need of a lot of work.)

We have inarguably moved very far.

We have moved so far only thanks to the efforts and the courage of all the men and women that have never been afraid of putting themselves on the line, of being judged, of being ridiculed.

They hoped.

They pushed us forward.

What was then perceived as an attack to society, morality, and decency, has instead contributed to build tolerance and understanding.

What was considered an act of destruction of society’s values, turned out to be instead a building effort.

The building of a bridge between bigotry and human nature.

So, again: “What about the difficulties our kids will have to face growing up in a society of heterosexual families?”

They are still there, I know, but I also know that they are there to help us shape a better future for us all.

A child like ours, born out of hope, can only be a gift to a society so ridden with egoism.

The Queen Father’s real name is Marco Platti. He is a 36-year-old Italian guy with a fashion background.  He married his partner of 11 years, Steven, in 2004. Since becoming a dad in 2009, he ditched his Gucci suit in favour of a spew-covered tracksuit.  He is now a writer, blogger and a stay-at-home parent.  Find his award-winning blog on

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