By: Chris Coyne
Our second home study is finished. It is a huge relief to be done with all the paperwork. I ordered a proof of our birthmother profile and it will be here in a few days. I still wonder if it is too early. I know we can handle it if it is but I get stuck on these things. CJ is teething and having a difficult time sleeping through the night. Jon has been traveling a bit so neither one of us is sleeping. I have a hard time sleeping alone in our bed.
I have been so busy with our adoption “project” I have had to let a few things fall behind. I have hundreds of things that are piling up. I stopped making lists and I have re-prioritized everything to the point that the list no longer matters. The only thing that matters right now is my wonderful family. CJ will only be 17 months this once. I do not want to miss any of it. I am cherishing every second we have alone together. I know this will have to change when we have another baby. He will have to share the attention but not the love. I look forward to seeing CJ as a big brother very soon. He loves older kids. He tolerates his peers. I wonder if he will be fascinated by his new sibling or terrorize him or her.
We have saved everything. I have newborn clothes for a baby boy or girl. I have so much crap! What the hell do you do with the mountain of crap you aquire for your child? Save it for the future sibling, secretly hoping it will be a boy (but not willing to request a boy) for the money saving effort! What if we have a girl? I still have newborn girl stuff but what about after newborn? She will grow fast; do I just stuff her in all the very boy stuff I have now? Should I go through all of it and separate the “unisex” stuff out? So this was a ten-minute rant on what is going through my mind. I am off to love on my son for a few hours before he goes down, hopefully for the night. I refuse to let my brain run when I am running after CJ but I thought it would be fun to share. Thoughts?
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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