Christmas sale! $50 OFF every $200 you spend. Use code XMASPRIDE

Tomboys and Glitter

by The Next Family June 23, 2011

By: Lex Jacobson

The Miss America pageant is on in the background as I write. I can’t seem to change the channel. There is something about the whole Miss America franchise that is both fascinating and terrifying to me.

I imagine some girls my age grew up wanting to be a beauty queen. Instead, I spent my childhood fantasizing about being Rambo and the Karate Kid. There are a few pictures of me in my parents’ photo albums in dresses, but they are usually covered in mud from rolling around in the back yard.

With two older brothers and not a lot of money, the only toys I had were hand-me-downs and things we got at garage sales, so I played with GI Joe and transformers. I had a make-believe racecar at the very top of our Japanese maple tree, which I would race for hours. Someone gave me a cabbage patch kid for my sixth birthday. Within a week, I’d cut her hair and put her in pants. That made more sense to me.

Some people have asked me “how did you not know you were gay?” when discussing my tomboyish childhood. And despite the fact that in retrospect, I was completely in love with my second grade teacher, I didn’t question my childhood self.

I was a tomboy, plain and simple. And tomboys don’t have to grow up to be gay. Hell, I didn’t even know I was gay until I was in my early twenties, when I fell in love with my wife (in one relationship with another woman as I was pining for my in-a-relationship future spouse). Despite my boyish childhood, I didn’t turn out butch. I can’t say I’m a lipstick lesbian, but I definitely have some chapstick in my dress pants pocket.

My sister-in-law dresses all three of her girls in pink every single day. They love make-up and curling their hair. My six-year-old niece plays with dolls and is a very “girly girl”. A few days ago, she came up to me and said, “Auntie Lex, I want to be gay.” I dealt with the statement nonchalantly told her she could be whatever felt right to her, but followed up with “you know that you can have lots and lots of girl friends your whole life and still grow up to marry a boy.” She looked right at me and said, “Oh, I know. And I still want to be gay.” I know it’s early to say, but if any of my nieces and nephews end up being gay, I would definitely not be surprised if it was her.

So be it. This world is a weird place to be when you’re trying to figure out your identity. Especially when it comes to gender roles. Especially when it comes to sexuality. There has been a lot of media attention around a Canadian couple raising their child genderless. Though so much of their story doesn’t make sense to me, I appreciate that they’ve got people talking, at the very least.

When we have a child, I’m going to buy clothes that I think are cute – blue, pink, green, yellow or brown. I’ll probably dress it in hand-me-downs from my brothers’ families. If my daughter wants to play with trains, I’ll let her play with trains. If my son wants to play with dolls, I’ll let him play with dolls. We owe our children that freedom.

As for Miss America, we’ve finished the swimsuit round and are on to the evening dresses… I’m not one for the pageant type, but Miss Vermont ain’t bad.

 

The post Tomboys and Glitter appeared first on The Next Family.




The Next Family
The Next Family

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

e13db90f29f21c3e81584d04ee44408be273e7d61cb710479cf7_640_fitness-300x214@2x

Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment

SidsFamily

By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →