30% OFF Pride collection code: USAPRIDE! Free Shipping over $99

10 Things I Can’t Believe I’ve Done as a Mom

by The Next Family May 13, 2011

By: Heather Somaini

Mother’s Day was this past Sunday and Tere and I got a lot of questions about how we celebrate.  The babies were only a couple months old when our first Mother’s Day approached.  I was all set with letting Tere “have” the whole day and suggested that I “get” Father’s Day.  Tere flatly refused.  I tried to argue a bit but it didn’t work out very well.  So to this day, we simply “share” Mother’s Day.  It’s not a great arrangement.  I’m hoping that as the kids get bigger, they figure out a better solution.

But in the meantime, what do we do with Father’s Day?  Somehow, the kids have decided that that’s their grandfather’s day which I think is a pretty elegant solution, to say so myself!  So the twins will go to Color Me Mine again soon and make their Opa his own tragically painted coffee mugs that he will feel obligated to use until one day when he opens the dishwasher and miraculously they’ve disintegrated.  He’ll feel sad but on the inside, he’ll quietly celebrate and lovingly return his mug with antlers back to its rightful place on the counter.  Yeah, he’s weird like that – but he’s ours.

So that brings me to today’s list of things I can’t believe I’ve done.  As a mom, there are situations no one else is ever put in.  They’re embarrassing and terrible and only with other moms do you even mention them.  They’re also hysterically funny and I recently laughed until I cried recounting one to a friend.  I have done things that normal people shouldn’t have to do.  I’ve done things that I really don’t want to keep doing but fear I will keep doing for some years to come.  I warn you, the following list is graphic and contains many references to poop.

1.    I drug my children.

I wrote on Wednesday about the miraculous powers of Baby Tylenol.  Enough said.

2.    I throw away pooped-on underwear.

This past weekend, my daughter had a poop accident at IKEA.  I threw her underwear away and she had to go underwear-less until we got home.  At least I didn’t let her go play in Smaland without underwear under her dress!

3.   I watched Tere use a breast pump in the car.

Driving home from an event in Orange County, Tere used a portable (battery powered) breast pump in the car.  I’m glad it was relatively dark and passing motorists didn’t notice – sort of.

4.   I have left events.

We were at the beach once and Tere was unceremoniously pooped on.  As some of our friends were arriving, I packed up all our gear, put my family in the car and drove away.  You just can’t stay at the beach when the Mama has poop all over her white linen shirt.

5.   I have intentionally confused my kids.

I used to sing “Old MacDonald” and would confuse my kids with animals like snakes.  Try it – it’s very difficult to sing “sssssssss sssssss  ssssss”.

6.   I have let my kids pee in public.

At the park, at the beach, pretty much anywhere – I will let our son and even sometimes our daughter pee in public if it’s too hard to get to a bathroom.  Dads LOVE this.

7.   I have incriminating baby photos.

We have taken pictures of the twins that will haunt them as teenagers.  I can’t wait for the first boyfriend or girlfriend I get to show them to!

8.   I have had whole conversations about my kids’ poops.

It’s so sad but not only have I had conversations with the kids about how amazing or gigantic their poops are but I’ve then recounted those entire conversations to adults.  I swear I DID go to college!

9.   I kiss and hug on my kids until they beg me to stop.

They really do.  They think I’m weird.  I try not to do it in public.  I can’t get enough of them.

10.  I’ve played “fetch” with my kids.

Exhibit A below.  I videotaped our baby son fetching my Blackberry.

The post 10 Things I Can’t Believe I’ve Done as a Mom appeared first on The Next Family.

The Next Family
The Next Family


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →