By: Brandy Black
I recently posted about the damages of infertility, but I haven’t shared much about the process of it all. As most of you know I struggled for 3.5 years to get pregnant. At one point our doctor had given up on me. My eggs were dismal; they looked much older than that of someone my age, and after 24 rounds of IUI (far too many), endometriosis surgery, many tests, and one IVF round we thought I was done trying. With one last-ditch effort, everything changed. The difference in the follicles and eggs was so dramatic that my doctor at one point began using the word “miracle”. Who knows why –could it have been the acupuncture or the wheat grass shots, the royal jelly, the healthy diet, luck, a miracle, the visit to the healer or just timing? Maybe it was a little bit of everything but that IVF round yielded five perfectly beautiful embryos. We put three back in for the transfer. Three seemed like a lot to my wife and me but after trying and failing for so many years we felt it was best to be aggressive. The other two embryos were frozen and put in storage. It was the first time that I felt like I had a “get out of jail free” card. If none of those embryos took, I actually had a second chance. Luckily, I got pregnant with our amazing daughter Sophia.
Those two sweet little embryos sit waiting to be thawed. Susan and I have had many conversations about those little tykes. Do we try to have another child? Do we give them up? Do we pay to keep them in storage year after year to avoid making the daunting decision? The answer seems to be consistent on all sides: they are Sophia’s siblings, and we can’t give them up. It’s now just a matter of time before we try again for Round Two. I often wonder how people part with the embryos that they worked so hard to make. It’s one of the many challenging decisions when dealing with modern science and baby making.
People ask me what it’s like to be an only child. They want pros and cons so that they can better make the decision to extend their families or not.
Only Child Pro List
– Lots of attention
-Very close with my family
-Got to travel more
– My best friends are like siblings (this can be a pro and a con)
Only Child Con List
– Can be lonely when you’re a kid
– Can be stressful when you’re an adult, always worrying about your parents (sorry Mom and Dad- you know me)
– Can accidentally turn out self-absorbed and selfish. Marrying a third-born has really helped me with this (I hope).
– Can easily turn out spoiled if the parents aren’t careful.
Those were the big ones. Honestly, I’ve never really thought much about having more than one kid. I’ve only ever imagined having one because it’s all that I know. But now, with these embryos-in-waiting, who knows what my family will become?
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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